^
Keep Houston Press Free
4

Rick Santorum & Rick Perry: A Tale of Two Also-Rans

Sad, sad news today for anyone looking to take America back to the 1920s: Rick Santorum is dropping out of his heroic presidential run.

Sure, Mitt Romney has taken enough war-on-woman wingnut stands to carry the banner, but has he ever gone to such Santorum lengths as to declare all contraception is bad?

Santorum's daughter is ill and that played a part in the decision, but the writing was on the wall. Santorum joins Rick Perry as solid proof that the GOP doesn't want to nominate anyone named Rick. Both Ricks ran impressive campaigns that drew a lot of attention, albeit for all the wrong reasons. Let's examine five aspects:

5. Best quote Santorum: "Isn't that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?" Perry: "Oops."

4. Best rumor Santorum: That he was doing the bidding of Opus Dei. Perry: That he was on painkillers for much of the campaign.

3. Sartorial mistake Santorum: Sweater vests, and plenty of them. Perry:

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

2. Quit before being embarrassed in home state? Santorum: Yes. Perry: Yes.

1. Likely to ever be considered as presidential timber again? Santorum: Ha. Perry: ROFLMAO.


Follow Hair Balls News on Facebook and on Twitter @HairBallsNews.

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.