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Roger Clemens Could Return to the Astros? Really?

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Drayton, you’ve got to be frakking kidding me. Clemens? On the Astros? Seriously? What kind of drugs are you taking?

What am I talking about, you ask? Well, Drayton McLane gave a little interview to MLB.com after last week’s owner meetings. And he answered a few questions about Rocket, and he said he wouldn’t dismiss the possibility of signing the Rocket to pitch.

“Would we? We're not even ready to think about that yet,” McLane said to MLB.com. “We've got to wait and see what happens. Right now we're not focusing on it at all. We're just going to have to go further down the road and see what unfolds. There are lots of issues out there.”

Go further down the road? Further down the road? Just what is there to go further down the road about? The guy was barely a mediocre pitcher for the Yankees last season. The Astros roster is essentially stacked now with mediocre pitchers, so why add another, especially one who’s going to demand as much money as the Rocket?

And here’s another reason you don’t have to wait to see what happens: Do you remember what it was like back in Spring Training when Rocket came to Kissimmee to throw batting practice to the kids? He was surrounded by press, and it won’t get better. Just ask the San Francisco Giants what that distraction is like every day.

But here’s why you don’t want this guy around. The FBI is already poking around your club because of that little steroid-liar Miguel Tejada. Clemens is going to bring more FBI guys around, and since the IRS is also after Rocket, I’m sure they won’t mind taking a look at your books. And I’m sure you don’t want the IRS poking around your books.

So, Drayton, the next time you’re asked about bringing Rocket back to pitch this season, just do a Nancy Reagan. Just say no. – John Royal

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