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Rolling Blackouts: Five Important Tips to Remember

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Who knows how long this terrible scourge of rolling blackouts might go on, or whether it will resume tomorrow or -- gasp -- the day after?

ERCOT, the entity in charge of distributing Texas electricity, sure doesn't know at the moment.

But Houston, it's important not to panic. (It's also important to use as little electricity as possible right now.) Here are five must-know tips to get you through this trying time.

5. Your beer will keep cold in the refrigerator Failing that, take it outside. It will stay cold out there.

4. You can still Twitter from your phone At least we assume so, because Twitter feeds citywide are jammed with all-important updates about how people have no power. We can only hope Twitter remains available, or we will not know where some people eat lunch this afternoon.

3. It turns out the guy is NOT the father on today's Maury WARNING: This may not be true. But we have a 50-50 shot.

2. Traffic lights should be treated as a four-way stop Of course, the way some of you assholes treat four-way stops, this is not helpful to the rest of us.

1. It could be worse: It could be August You think you don't like a rolling blackout now? Just wait six months. You won't be sticking your beer outside to get cold, we assure you.

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