“A lot of talk… ‘Cut Royce’, ‘Trade Royce’, only a few players with my skill set in the WHOLE league… everybody knows it. #RedNation” — Royce White, 6/30/13 on Twitter

And just like that, Royce White sucked me back in.

I was made aware of this tweet by my former intern up at the radio station, Andrew Stewart. He texted it to me, and honestly I had forgotten that I stopped following Royce White. That’s kind of how my Twitter relationship has been with ol’ @Highway_30 — when he’s saying things that are pissing everybody off (Twitter nirvana), I follow him, but eventually the barrage of retweets and the thinly veiled attention issues wear on me. So I unfollow.

And then I get trolled back in. And then a few weeks later, I unfollow. And on and on. My following of Royce White has evolved into something in between a Twitter booty call and a 90210-style, on-again, off-again Twitter relationship.

Right now, Royce’s ridiculous narcissism, his open bragging about this elite level that’s buried under a 50-pound tectonic plate of blubber on his torso, has me trolled back in. I’m following again.

As the Rockets are preparing for the biggest week in the recent history of the franchise, clearing out cap space to make a run at center Dwight Howard, floating trade proposals for key cogs in last season’s playoff team like Omer Asik and Jeremy Lin, and flying a contingent numbering nearly a dozen people (current players, former players, coaches, executives) to Los Angeles to pitch Howard on Houston, White sits at his computer insinuating that he is too valuable for the team to trade him, because there aren’t many players in the league that could do what he does.

All due respect, I’m fairly certain every player in the league could pack on an extra few dozen pounds, sit around in a robe all day, and give interviews to HBO and Dr. Phil.

A part of processing my return to the Royce White Twitter train has always been analyzing the spew, the barrage of tweets and retweets in which Royce brags about his basketball skills ilke he’s a ten-time All Star and casually wishes each of his haters to #BeWell. This latest machine gun Twit-spray had a few beauties:

The “what’s your name again?” tweet, an Arian Foster special (an athlete who, for better or worse on each side, White has been compared to intellectually)

The “my ____ is my _____” tweet, a Marlo Stanfield special (a character from The Wire who White has virtually nothing in common with)

The “empty promise” tweet, because at this point, until he proves he can handle the pressure of the NBA and stay in shape, White is no different from every other borderline D Leaguer….

Retweets of what a hero he is to mental health sufferers everywhere, even though he continually sets back the clock on empathy for mental health issues in the workplace five years every time he pulls a new stunt with the Rockets…

Retweets of fans from other teams plugging him into their lineups…

So same old Royce White on Twitter. I’ll probably follow him for a little while, his bullshit reinvigorating me for a few days. And then I’ll remember why I unfollow him about two weeks into the experience every single time, because it gets old. He nags, he needles, and he makes you want to shake him by the neck because he’s pissing away a lucrative future, not to mention the college funds of his army of illegitimate children.

But it’s cool. If I want back in, I know on Twitter @Highway_30 will always be there. Royce White is as reliable on Twitter as he is unreliable in real life.

Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 Yahoo! Sports Radio from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays and nationally on the Yahoo! Sports Radio network Saturdays from 10 a.m. to noon CST. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.

This article appears in Jun 27 – Jul 3, 2013.

Sean Pendergast is a contributing freelance writer who covers Houston area sports daily in the News section, with periodic columns and features, as well. He also hosts the morning drive on SportsRadio...