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Rub a Dub: Suspect Steals $300 in Bath Products from CVS, Hides Female Deodorant on a String Inside Pants

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An old boss of mine said you really have to watch people because they will steal anything that isn't nailed down. I always assumed that was an exaggeration and there were certain things that couldn't possibly apply to such an axiom. Apparently, I was wrong.

According to a report from InstantNewsWestU.com, a man was pulled over in the 6400 block of Buffalo Speedway after he allegedly shoplifted from the CVS at 4700 Kirby. Police noticed he was digging around on the passenger side of the vehicle and asked him to get out. When he did, that's when they noticed he was wearing two pairs of pants...and when the story gets particularly odd.

When the officer searched him, he found three female deodorants strapped to his ankle with shoestring. According to the police report, the suspect claimed the items were "for some girls." Yes, for SOME girls. That, in and of itself, is pretty damn strange, but that doesn't account for what else they found.

When they searched his vehicle, they found more than $300 worth of bathroom items. The report didn't say what they were, specifically, but it would take a shit ton of Suave to add up to $300. And it brings up the question, why steal bathroom stuff? Is the guy extremely clean? Does he have a bunch of daughters who all demand their own stuff?

According to the report, the suspect said he "only takes the items to sell them for food and gasoline." Okay, what?

If that is the case, why not something of greater substance. Sure, electronics have tags on them that can go off when you exit the store, but what about medical supplies or batteries or cosmetics? That stuff is worth more and you wouldn't have to strap mascara to your ankle. You just put it in your pocket.

Then, I got to wondering, who is paying him for bathroom stuff? It makes sense he would steal so much because my bet is he's not going to get more than 10 bucks for $300 worth of shampoo and deodorant.

The suspect was arrested and charged with theft. Hopefully, they have decent soap in jail.

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