San Benito Teacher Replaced After Bizarre Classroom Rant About Jesus, Mary Magdalene, UFOs & The Apocalypse

A ninth-grade teacher at San Benito's Veterans Memorial High School has been replaced for the remainder of the year after her lesson plan went badly awry last Tuesday and her 12-minute rant was filmed by a student and uploaded to YouTube.

Before the teacher was done, she told a roomful of alternately jeering and frightened public school students that Jesus Christ impregnated Mary Magdalene just before his crucifixion. Then she switched to Spanish and over the objections of her students, elaborated at great length on her beliefs.

She told the class that Jesus fell in love with Mary Magdalene when he was 12. They met while he was piloting a boat across the sea. Mary was on the shore, weeping after a bad breakup, the teacher continued, and Jesus saw her and invited her aboard. Mary soon fell in love with Jesus' eyes, and he kissed her. After that, she says, they were seen together at parks and parties, according to a bilingual commenter's line-by-line translation at

And there's much, much more...

She said that an army of God was coming to destroy this world on December 21, 2012, but not to worry, because Jesus had created another planet that was more beautiful than this one, a Utopia full of waterfalls where everybody was always 25 years old, where money does not exist, but Christmas does, complete with Santa Claus.

After telling the class that Jesus had written Mary many letters after his death, promising continually to return for her, the teacher then asks the class if they know where Jesus is and if they believe that he will return for Mary. ("Ask him to text me!" one of the kids says in English.)

The teacher ignores that wise-ass remark and tells the class that she is the reincarnated Mary Magdalene. She says that she loves Jesus and that they will be getting married one day and that she will give birth to their child once she gets to heaven. She says that though she has never met Jesus, the two of them spoke daily and he kept her up all night with his conversation.

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