It takes a while for kids to warm up to Santa Claus -- usually it takes precisely as long as it takes them to figure out he's the guy bringing presents.
But when you're real little, and you tend to get presents randomly anyway, you don't know anything about having to endure the fat old guy in order to get loot. So when your parents hand you over to this bloated, creepily cheery old dude, you do what comes naturally.
5. Sudden Impact At 35 seconds comes the out-of-nowhere explosion resulting from the realization she's about to be handed over to a bearded red-coated giant. The puffy cheeked expression at the end proves she won't be bought off with some cheap candy cane.
4. Your Rattles Bore Me We don't really know how you can get much out of a three-month-old baby in terms of lively photos, but this clip proves one thing: After about 10 seconds, your tired rattle routine has become stale. (Miracle: The kid then not only stops, but raises a Jack Black eyebrow at the proceedings.)
3. The Not-So-Great Escape This kid quickly sizes up his predicament and tries like holy hell to get out of the clutches of the ho-ho-ho monster. Santa, however, will not be denied.
2. Fifty Seconds of Terror A brother-sister act doubleteams the tears as their parents blithely smile for the camera, ignoring the nightmare-inducing torture their kids are being subjected to. Little brother does accept the candy cane at the end, though -- He figured he'd better get something out of this traumatic experience.
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1. Back Away Slowly This kid doesn't cry, but she takes one look at Santa and starts backing away slowly into a corner, never taking her eyes off the obviously dangerous intruder. She calmly sizes up the situation, and then puts an end to the filming. Not this time, Claus!!
Don't worry, kids: Sanata doesn't take it personally. He knows you'll be back. Back begging for forgiveness, and presents.