Sarahmania Hits Houston

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Sarahmania Hits Houston
What did we learn?

By Richard Connelly


Sarah Palin

Houston was the epicenter of Palinmania recently, as her fans breathlessly awaited her appearances at a Rick Perry rally and some sort of motivational convention.

There were many things to take away from the whirlwind visit of the woman who is ostentatiously keeping open the possibility of running for President in 2012, just in case the nation demands it.

Here are five things we learned:

She's not necessarily the draw she's made out to be.

Right up to the event, organizers were still pleading for fans to get tickets and bring out friends and family to the Berry Convention Center, which seats about 11,000. This despite the fact that, as Hair Balls learned from an organizer, there was a pranky Facebook group dedicated to Houstonians requesting tickets and then not using them, in the hopes that organizers would believe it was a sell-out and stop giving tickets away. (Sadly, supposed ticket-requesters Anita Mann and Ima Jackauff were no-shows.)

"I reserved ten seats. They required names of each guest. I mostly used drag queen names," prankster Michael Copenhaver tells Hair Balls. "It really would have been interesting if my 'guests' had shown up."

In Spring, which really is the heart of the Palin demographic around here, the hall was only half-filled, on a weekend. Which also says something about Rick Perry's ability to organize a successful event. Bus in those seniors, dude!!

She keeps up with all the criticism of her.

The funniest part of the weekend came during her appearance at a "Tea Party" convention in Nashville, where she — with all the cunning of a fourth-grader cramming for a history test — wrote talking points on her hand. This was hilarious not only because the talking points were such bland, oft-repeated GOP tropes as "lift America's spirits" and "budget cuts" (although the word "budget" was crossed out). It was also hilarious because Palin has made tired Obama-Teleprompter jokes.

(By the way, if you want to see a double standard in action, here's GOPUSA on Handgate: "Palin is known for giving stirring speeches from the stump...speeches completely off the cuff. To have a few talking points jotted down is something any speech-maker would do. It's quite a bit different than someone like Obama who can't articulate a complete sentence without it being written down in front of him."

Yes, Obama can't complete a sentence without a Teleprompter, unless you include countless town halls or meetings with GOP leadership.)

Anyway, by the time she reached Spring, Palin realized she was in trouble. So the feisty gal wrote "Hi Mom" on her hand for the Perry rally. Point, Palin!!!!!

We think.

She likes the cash more than she likes her fans.

The other event here was the motivational seminar at Toyota Center. The event seemed to be grossly oversold (tickets were just $19 for entire office staffs to attend), perhaps because organizers thought people would only attend parts of the all-day event.

But no one told attendees that Palin would be speaking at 8 a.m., so bitterly disappointed fans standing in line at 10:30 a.m. weren't happy.

Palin presumably was, having pocketed her fee for a 30-minute speech.

Boy, her fans are white. Very white.

It's no secret that the teabagger movement is made up of cranky white people. It's especially hilarious when the Houston folks counter this criticism by naming the individual blacks who speak at their rallies, apparently missing the point that if you can ID all the minorities at your rally, you're sorta proving that there aren't many.

Palin's Spring appearance made an Andy Williams concert in Branson look multicultural. And that was with Ted Nugent on the bill, and we all know how much the blacks dig The Nuge.

Yes, we're still "obsessed" with her.

This is another right-wing criticism — the "MSM," which is defined as anything that isn't Fox, Newsmax or Rush — is "obsessed" with Palin because they fear her ability to get to the White House. This is apparently discussed at the highest levels of the Great Libruhl Media Conspiracy.

On the one hand, we plead guilty — we're writing about her. On the other, if there's another political figure out there who so perfectly represents her constituency, for better or worse — and who also writes cheat notes on her hand for a very friendly Q&A session — then we'll write about him or her instead.


Prank Equals Felony Now

By John Nova Lomax

Police in Friendswood allege that 33-year-old Amanda Anderson got even with her former employer the new-fashioned way: via Craigslist.

They say that she took out what must have been a very generous help-wanted ad for various contractors. Once it hit the Net, Anderson's old boss was swamped with calls from a great many plumbers, roofers and electricians. The former employer was angry enough to phone in the bogus ad to the cops, who tracked down Anderson as the suspect.

And now she is in a major heap of shit. Under a new law that the state Legislature enacted last September, Anderson was charged with third-degree felony online ­harassment. If convicted, she could face two to ten years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

Seems pretty stiff for what amounts to a modern-day prank call.

The felony portion of the harassment law states that a person can be charged for using the name of another person to create a Web page or to post one or more messages on a commercial social networking site without obtaining the other person's consent with the intent to harm, defraud, intimidate, or threaten any person.

Local defense attorney and blogger Mark Bennett thinks the statute is "awfully broad."

"The usual legislative overreaction to a new danger," he calls it.

"With regard to the particular case, I guess they're going to argue that the 'harm' is being inundated with telephone calls," Bennett continues. "Fair enough, I suppose — it would piss me off too — but a third-degree felony? Steal up to $20,000, and it's only a state-jail felony."

We're sure Moe Szyslak would approve.

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