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Keep Houston Press Free
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Seriously, Brooke Hogan, Shut Up

You figure a tranny would care more about politics. Oh, wait. Never mind.

“I’m not that into voting.”

Brooke Hogan said that the other week on her reality show (which makes Denise Richard’s show look like “Charlie Rose,” by the way.) Anyway, let me repeat Brooke’s words again, very slowly, so you really hear them.

“I’m not….that in…to voting.”

You know what I’m not into? Todd Rundgren. Vanilla ice cream. Reruns of “Murder She Wrote.” I’m kinda not into clowns as they always seem like scary perverts to me (sorry clowns, I’m just sayin’). Oh. And I’m definitely not into smooth jazz.

But you know what I AM into, Brooke Hogan? Call me crazy, but I’m kind of into my fucking constitutional rights. The rights that women in generations past chained themselves to the White House gates and starved themselves so that I could have them. And you could have them. The rights that allow me to have my own vote as opposed to having my husband’s vote represent me, which was the way lots of people thought it should go down until 1920.

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Look, I’m really super sorry that your dad and your mom split up and your brother got drunk and almost killed his friend and now he’s in jail or whatever. And I’m really super sorry that your mom is dating some dude who is younger than you (which has got to be crazy embarrassing, I’m sure). And I’m really super sorry that this reality show is the 15th minute of your fame going ding dong ding.

But lady, come on! You’re not into voting? And you think that it’s a bad idea for a woman to run for president because her PMS would make her crazy and emotional? Seriously? You really believe this? Because oh my Gawd.

Okay, I vented. I got that out. I can’t stand Brooke Hogan now because that is seriously one of the dumbest fucking things anyone has ever said. I’m not that into voting. Sheesh.

And before any of you smart asses go posting any comments, no, I’m not getting my period. I’m just ticked. It happens sometimes. – Jennifer Mathieu

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