Sheryl Crow Has A Bag For You

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Now, having bad taste in music and a socially conscious spirit can go hand in hand – or bag in hand, as it were.

Whole Foods Market announced it is teaming up with singer/activist Sheryl Crow to design a special edition reusable shopping bag.

From the release: “The design of the new A Better Bag, which will be out in plenty of time for the holiday season, features a charcoal sketch of a tree with words written by Crow specifically for this project woven into the art work.”

Just in time for holidays, huh? Attention College Kids: Prepare to practice convincingly saying “Yeah, I love Sheryl Crow” for your older relatives who think this would be the perfect gift for their nephew/niece/grandson/granddaughter who is “really into music.”

But back to the bags. Wondering what words Crow – an artist who has made a living off writing lyrics – chose to print on the sack?

“I love my home planet earth.”

Man, she must have spent hours on that one. We wonder if she was disappointed when she found out “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle” was already taken.

Her choice of phrase is surprising when you think of the goldmine of just-as-bad-but-more-clever ideas she could’ve drawn from her life and song titles.

“If it makes you happy … put it in this bag!”

“All I want to do is save the earth.”

“Save the Earth (except for the part that Lance Armstrong lives on.)”

“Hey Olsen Twin, why don’t you make like a tree and leave my man alone?"

“Hey Lance, are you going to buy two bags to compensate? Bitter? What do you mean?”

And if those didn’t do, there’s plenty more based on our opinions of Crow’s music:

“I went to Whole Foods and all I got was this Sheryl Crow bag.”

“Somebody that shops at Whole Foods hates me. (That’s why they bought me a Sheryl Crow bag.)”

“This bag was designed by Sheryl Crow. Not every thing on Planet Earth is worth saving.”

“The only good thing about this bag is that you don’t know Sheryl Crow designed it … damn, never mind.”

Dusti Rhodes

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