Sports Illustrated is out with its latest swimsuit issue, much to the dismay of people who prefer to hear sports-talk radio hosts talk sports.
The issue, in these porn0filled days, is not the major event it used to be, of course. Back in the day, its arrival in mailboxes was an eagerly awaited winter event.
Not for the stories, though. A story in the swimsuit issue was begging to be ignored, and sometimes it seemed like SI didn't even bother.
Take these five stories, for instance. As a bonus, we'll give you some facts on what the particular SI cover girl went on to accomplish in life.
5. Dayle Haddon Ignored Story: "Buzzing to Glory," a story on old guys competing at The Great Miami Air Race. Note: Although it no doubt was the best-written and most extensive story on The Great Miami Air Race published that week, we're guessing its audience was limited. What Dayle Haddon became: Christian Slater's mother-in-law
4. Sunny Bippus Ignored Story: "The Public Joins Winchester In A Shotgun Revolution" Note: The heart-grabbing lede: "Nobody would have guessed in August of 1962 that the inauspicious opening of the Thunder Mountain Public Shooting Center in Ringwood, N.J. might be launching the decade's most significant trend in shotgun shooting." What Sunny Bippus became: For a while, the sixth wife of the heir to the Swift meatpacking fortune.
3. Kathy Ireland Ignored Story: "The Woman Warrior" Note: For the 25th anniversary swimsuit issue, SI was filled with nothing but articles about the models. Oh, and this story subheadlined "Ann Simonton fights for feminist issues -- and against the SI swimsuit issue" What Kathy Ireland became: Star of Alien From L.A., the subject of a classic episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
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2. Cheryl Tiegs Ignored Story: "A Question Of Survival" Note: What horny teenage boy could resist reading a story with the subhead "In a financial bind, lovely Hialeah last week opened its 50th season in an atmosphere of nostalgia, well tempered with both fear and hope"? What Cheryl Tiegs became: Fourth wife to a yoga instructor who was born Nimrod Gross but changed his name to Rod Stryker.
1. Turia Mau Ignored Story: "The Running Of The Green" Note: The first installment of the three(!)-part series on Ron Delany, who ten years previously had been "a dominant indoor runner." What Turia Mau became: Perfectly content.