When being interviewed over the last week, newly acquired Rockets guard Jeremy Lin admitted that the use of his last name for Lin-based puns got a little old in New York. In fact, he banned the use of them among friends, but he did admit that of all the ones he had seen, his favorite was probably Super LINtendo. Fair enough.
With his signing by the Rockets complete and anticipation of his full-time arrival as a new Houstonian still creating buzz for basketball fans, it seemed only logical that a few well-known Houston landmarks could be converted, if only briefly, to Linsanity. Maybe, when he realizes just how awesome Houston is, he won't want to roll his eyes out of the back of his head when he reads them.
The story goes that the Allen Brothers put ads in northern magazines with drawings of the Rhine River Valley, complete with mountains and lush forests, and pawned it off on would-be settlers as the Houston landscape. When arrivals got to our little mosquito-infested swamp, they were too broke to turn around and go home. We think Houston has improved a bit over the years, though the mosquitoes are still with us. We're going to guess Lin will be more enthusiastic to remain than those first residents.
E-LINore Tinsley Park
Home to kids playing, music festivals and the occasional homeless guy just trying to catch a few rays, we feel confident that our parks are damn near as cool as Central Park in New York and with substantially fewer muggers.
LIN-don B. Johnson Space Center
Although Space Center Houston is probably one of the more overrated tourist traps in the city, the actual center has created history and continues to support our nation's space program. And since Lin studied economics at Harvard, maybe he could help them figure out their budget.
Now here's a landmark we can all get behind. There were rumors that Lin occasionally liked to get his party on in NYC. Well, NOTHING says Houston drinking like the, let's call it cozy, Lone...er...LIN Star Saloon. And, Jeremy, if it's shift change, don't be surprised if a bartendress gently requests you pay your tab so she can close out. Pro tip: DO NOT turn her down.
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Ah, the sweet smell of chemical refineries wafting across the marshy salt air. While you are here, JLin, imagine this as like walking through the Holland Tunnel without a gas mask. Oh, and don't be frightened when a smokestack suddenly erupts with flames 100 feet into the air. It's not an explosion, just a harmful release of completely inert chemicals into the atmosphere...cough.
LIN-ute Maid Park
LIN-ute Maid is one of the most beautiful ballparks in the country. It has all the amenities and even when the Astros are losing, it's fun to go, which is good news since they are losing a LOT. It's like the Mets but with a MUCH cheaper payroll, or the bizarro Yankees. In fact, since you are already here, Jeremy, how about pinch hitting? You couldn't be any worse than the guys currently on the roster.