There's been a lot of talk of a lockout in both the NFL and the NBA next year. There's no way to know whether stadiums and arenas will sit quiet and empty or if they'll go with replacement players and still sit quiet and empty.
With all this uncertainty, Hair Balls wanted to help you prepare. Before hurricane season, we on the Gulf Coast know to have evacuation plans ready, to stockpile water and batteries and have plenty of tequila for the margarita machine at the hurricane party. Likewise, life without football or basketball means being prepared.
We know the prospect of no winter sports makes you want to crawl under the covers with a bag of Cheetos and a bottle of vodka (around here, we just call that "Thursday"), but there is hope. There are other things to do in the world besides watching the NFL and NBA. Don't believe us? Check out these six things to do if there are dual lockouts next year.
6. Go Outside
This may seem like a novel concept for you, but you can actually go outside in the fall and winter purely for recreation, particularly in the south. There are plenty of things to do and most of them aren't yard maintenance. Take a walk. Ride a bike. Play a pick-up game. Sit in your yard, drink beer and talk about sports. The possibilities are endless.
5. Spend Time with Your Family
Who says it has to be the holidays to hang out with the relatives? If you are married or have kids, we're sure they'd be shocked to see your face since it is nearly always pointed at the television. This will be your opportunity to re-learn their names and maybe even do something fun with them, like playing Madden Football.
4. Become a Hockey Fan
Maybe you've heard of it. People in the far northern U.S. and Canadians really seem to like it. We don't have a major league team in Houston, but we have the Aeros and we're pretty sure the rules are the same. Also, for Houstonians, it's a chance to see ice that doesn't come covered in scotch or inside an ice chest surrounding your Bud Light.
3. Watch Infomercials
If this guy doesn't get you revved up like the fourth quarter of a playoff game, you are dead inside. "You follow me, camera guy."
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SHOW ME HOW
2. Play Simulated Fantasy Sports
Buy whatever pro sports video games you like. Do your fantasy draft. Set the game for owner mode. Simulate games and watch the sparks fly! You think it's fun to scream at a TV because the coach takes a knee in the last 30 seconds instead of giving your guy another chance at a touchdown, that's nothing compared to clicking "simulate game" and then reading stats. It's scintillating action!
1. Watch College Sports
Let's be honest with one another. You aren't going outside. You're not going to spend time with your family or watch the ShamWOW guy. You think hockey announcers talk funny and you think, call you a traditionalist, video games are for playin', not for simulatin'. At least there is college sports. The players can't strike and they almost seem to care. Plus, with Sundays off, you can go to church without having to worry about missing the first 15 minutes of the game because the preacher's sermon went long. Win win!