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Keep Houston Press Free
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Six Ways You Know Obama Has Won

The election, by all accounts in the media, is over. Barack Obama has won. There will be no hanging chads, no recounts, no doubt. He can indeed start measuring those damn drapes John McCain was always talking about.

And America feels different today. How do we know? Six ways you can tell:

6. You see a black person on the street and want to congratulate them, before saying to yourself “WTF am I thinking?”

5. You see some anonymous person who you just know is a Sarah Palin fan, and you mumble to yourself “How’s it feel now, bee-yotch?”

4. Your taxes go up. You get issued your working papers for the Socialist Party USA. You become Muslim.

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3. You realize you don’t have to obsessively check every new state poll that comes out on the Web, and then check every post on it that criticizes its methodology.

2. The number of Keith Olbermann clips you get in your e-mail goes way down.

1. You realize that if a) a black guy b) from Hawaii c) who basically never knew his dad d) has a crazy-assname like “Barack Hussein Obama” can get elected president, maybe you can get off your lazy ass and actually do something. You wait until that feeling passes.

-- Richard Connelly

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

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