Skip Black Friday IRL, And Do It Online

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Hark, singing herald angels! Do you hear what we hear? Could it be the carols of pure bliss lyrically carousing through the annals of our fair city this fine Black Friday? Yes, indeed, 'tis the season for joy to our world!

It's the sound of freedom, we reckon. Freedom from familial dining obligations for a few weeks, freedom from unreasonable expectations for your waistline until at least 2010, and most of all, freedom to return to what recession-resistant Houstonians do best - indulging those visions of capitalism, dancing through their heads.

O, glorious day! It's finally the biggest, grandest, most gluttonous shopping day of the year, and you get to spend if you want to, spend if you want to, spend if you want to! It's certainly true; there's nothing like an empty bank account that chortles, "Happy Holidays!"

But you tech stallions are entirely too brilliant to subject yourself to discount department store stampedes all in the name of a bargain. Nay, you're already well aware that your open sleigh is maximized by the one horse of an illuminated computer monitor. Giddy up, jingle horse! All we want for Christmas is you, online deals.

Shall we show you where to find them, pa rum pum pum pum? Make like Mary and nod.

One Day Apple Shopping Event Okay, so let's be honest. It's Apple, and you're not saving more than $101 on any one item. And that's only on Apple's most expensive booty anyway. But you know you're going to buy someone on your list something by Apple this holiday season. Resistance against the Jobsmobile is futile. Give up.

Amazon's Black Friday Deals Week by American Express Amazon has you and your dough in mind this Black Friday, 'cause it's been scouring "the best Black Friday deals everywhere -- including deals other stores are planning," so it can meet or beat the prices those other guys have slashed. Any online retailer that does the legwork for you gets a tip of the hat from us.

Target's 2-Day Online Sale Finally, a store with a brain. Still recovering from that massive tryptophan bender? You have until Saturday to get that little Garmin Nuvi for $190 cheaper than you could on Wednesday at Target. As if you needed even more incentive, all orders over $50 ship free of charge. Nice merry measure, Target.

We know what you're thinkin'. "The usual suspects," eh? Well, guess what, true loves? We're filling your stockings with a whole lot more than three French hens. For a complete list of online retailers with Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals, Shoppers Shop really has its halls decked with boughs of holly. And don't ho, ho, hold out on following Black Friday on Twitter, either.

Merry shopping to all, and may your wallets be light.

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