^
Keep Houston Press Free
4

"Snow Leopard," Steve? Couldn't You Do Better?

Dear Steve Jobs,

Ugh.  You really think you're so damn cute, don't you?  PantherTigerLeopardSnow Leopard?  Seriously, what's the deal with naming your operating system releases after big pussies?  Like society has some sort of obsession with cats or something.  Pffft.  Yeah, Steve, that's the sound that society makes when society is deeply offended by your assumptions.  Society is not amused.

Okay, okay, look.  Feigned miffed-ness aside, the big kitty motif was kinda rad.  Cats are worthy nocturnal companions, and they make great keyboardists, too.  But truthfully, you dropped the ball with "Snow Leopard" this time.  Um, "Snow Leopard'?  Oh man.  Adding a weather condition to an existing version does not make it new or improved, Steve!  Wasn't there any other feline you could think of besides "Snow Leopard"?  Hello, what's wrong with "Cougar"?  Do you really believe everything Urban Dictionary says?  You're such a bandwagon rider, Steve.  Maybe you should've Binged instead of Googled.

Anyway, Stevie, in an effort to assist you in regaining your naming convention credibility, you'll find a few suggestions for alternate operating system nicknames below.  Since your choice of "Snow Leopard" has already been a crowd disappointment, an executive decision has been made to drop the overplayed meower theme and choose something a little more descriptive:


  • Suggestion #1: Whiskey Dick.  Almost immediately upon insertion of Snow Leopard, numerous Appleheads complained that their trusty Hewlett-Packard printers went limp.  "But what do you mean the printer's broken?  It used work just fine!"  Apple's reaction?  Wilted.

  • Suggestion #2: Botox.  An upgrade!  Your Mac will be fitter, happier, more productive!  Faster!  Stronger!  Younger looking!  Right?  Well, kinda wrong.  Post-launch speed buzz aside, the real benefits seem to merely be under the hood.  And in your head.

  • Suggestion #3: Brad Pitt.  Well, the new release might not be the corporate standard when it comes to computing a la Windows (sigh), but hey, at least it's ungodly beautiful and easy on the eyes.

Hopefully you'll take these well-intentioned considerations to heart.  Someone's gotta look out for you, Stevie.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Love bytes, 
Social Distortion

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.