Well, the Conference Finals are in full swing in the NBA, and you know the old saying -- the Conference Finals don't really start until the two fan bases have a drunken brawl over something really, really stupid. (It used to be the series didn't start until the road team won a game. That's a very 2011 way of thinking. This is a new era.)
(Of course, this is a corollary to the old adage that a series isn't over until the nasty skank dances on the bar. No more fat ladies singing.)
So with that in mind, we now have ourselves a series in the Western Conference.
Last night, TNT came back from break with footage of a pier six donnybrook (somewhere the late WWE announcer Gorilla Monsoon is smiling with that phraseology) going on in the upper portion of the lower bowl in the AT&T Center:
Thankfully, our correspondent "William Wilkerson" was on the scene and filed this footage and the following report (By the way, qualifications to become a "correspondent" to my blog posts consist of a camera phone, an active YouTube account and a moderate command of the English language):
OKC fan was waving a KD jersey in the air right before the 4th quarter when a drunk Spurs fan from a row behind us walked down and grabbed it, then threw it. OKC fans obviously was pissed so he walked up and punched Spurs fan. OKC's girlfriend got involved. Spurs fan hit OKC's girlfriend and choked her. Cops came. Meanwhile, another Spurs fan sucker punched OKC fan. OKC's girlfriend jumped on Spurs fan. Spurs fan No. 2's mom then whaled on OKC's girlfriend in the blue with Louis bag on her shoulder the whole time. Poor older lady next to sister, who I was trying to drag out of harms way, got trampled. So did my sister. Crazy. Whole place, including Thunders bench, was watching us the whole time.
Highlights of the video:
0:01 -- Video comes out firing on all cylinders with what appears to be a hefty African American fellow (light blue, grayish shirt) pulling up the back of his pants to cover up some butt crack when Tim Duncan Jersey Guy does a very un-Duncanlike thing and smacks the guy in the head with a quick left swing. (A fundamentally sound left swing, which makes it very Duncanlike, but still....)
0:04 -- OH, IT'S SO ON!!!
0:11 --Excellent overhead view of two chicks in a classic WWE Diva-style hair-pulling match, and a near butt crack shot on the chick in the black shirt. (To be clear, my view on this is female butt crack, good. Hefty dude butt crack, bad.)
0:18 -- It starts to get a little hazy here as our cameraman gets turned sideways and it starts to look the same way a TV show looks when you're hungover on your couch and watching the show laying on your side. We see a couple other possible females throwing hands at anything that moves.
0:20 -- We see what is either a kid with Bama bangs or a female with a very, um, masculine haircut filming this scrum from a different vantage point, which makes me think that it would be really nice if we had a message board or something in the social media realm where the people who film these viral events could collaborate to submit all of their footage and we get one cleanly edited version where we are jumping from cut to cut. This needs to happen. In an election year, I would put my weight behind a candidate who made this a priority.
0:27 -- The other half of the female brawl (blue T-shirt girl) is on the ground sitting in puddles of Coke and beer as Duncan Jersey Guy appears to be walked off nonchalantly by the cops. Underrated performer here: Indoor Visor Guy (seen trying to break things up), because the glare from the lights in the arena must be brutal. Got to have your visor on indoors.
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Up next, Game 3 in Oklahoma City. Here's hoping Spurs fan has done their research on Thunder fan and what exactly they can get away with. Thunder fan don't play.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from 6 a.m. to 11 a.m. weekdays, and watch the simulcast on Comcast 129 from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.