For all the talk about the games lasting too long or the sport moving too slowly, baseball is still a key part of the American sports tapestry, and when it's at its best, chances are it's being narrated by Vin Scully.
Scully is in his 65th season as the voice of the Dodgers, and his distinct dulcet tones are easily recognizable to any baseball fan, Dodgers or otherwise. In fact, Scully is so good at what he does that he could describe almost anything and it would be auditory gold.
Horse manure, mold spores, naked mole rats, whatever. Scully could enthrall you with tales of anything.
On Tuesday night, it was crack pipes.
In the third inning of the Dodgers' game with the Detroit Tigers, Scully was laying out the somewhat checkered childhood of Tigers centerfielder Torii Hunter when he disclosed an anecdote about Hunter's estranged again/around again father.
Here is the video:
Vin on Torii by random_sports
It goes without saying that I take no pleasure in the disclosure that Torii Hunter's father had drug issues, issues so major that it led to his leaving home. That's nothing to joke about.
However, it also goes without saying that I take great pleasure in the 86-year-old Scully saying the words "crack pipe." And not just saying those words, but weaving them seamlessly into a story about Hunter's father not just leaving home, but leaving in Torii's favorite jacket.
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When his dad eventually returned, Torii reclaimed the jacket, but fell prey to an incident at school in which his dad's crack pipe fell out of the pocket when Torii raised his hand to answer a question.
I think there should be a new rule where Vin Scully has to tell a story in the third inning of every game, and the story must have something to do with whores, blow or crack pipes, for the sole reason that I want to hear Vin Scully say the words "whores," "blow" and "crack pipe."
(H/T to The Big Lead)