Stephanie Irene Santana, Allegedly Drunk & Pregnant: Clubhouse Leader in Bad Mom of the Year Stakes

Houston police say that 20-year-old pregnant mother Stephanie Irene Santana was drunk early this morning when she left her infant in the car to go get a body piercing at a North Freeway tattoo parlor.

Whew. Let's unpack that sentence, shall we...

Drinking underage is against the law, so there's that, and some would say that getting your body pierced is always a bad idea. Especially if you decide to do it at 2:40 a.m. at a North Freeway tattoo parlor and you choose to leave your kid in the car while you do so.

Driving drunk is an awful thing to do, especially with helpless kids in the car, and getting shitfaced while pregnant is abominable.

And yet, according to police, Houston's own Stephanie Irene Santana has managed to pull off all those horrendous ideas in one fell swoop. (UPDATE: And it's now come to light that she was on probation for a theft charge to boot.) And even more hideous details are yet to come...

According to HPD, Santana, 20, rolled up to the tattoo shop in the wee hours, staggered through the doors and slurred a question: She wanted to know how long a piercing would take, because she'd left her baby in the car.

To their immense credit, the tattoo parlor owners not only refused service, but also followed her to the parking lot and called the cops. When the police arrived, they found the seven-months-pregnant Santana snoring her hammered ass off behind the wheel, her one-year-old daughter in the shotgun seat.

A search of the car turned up at least one half-full Corona bottle, along with some empties and some Xanax, the last two of which Santana had stashed in her daughter's diaper bag.

Nice touch there, mom.

CPS now has the baby and Santana was taken to Ben Taub to dry out. When they wheel her out of there, she's headed for Harris County Jail, where she will be charged with two felonies: child endangerment and DWI with a child aboard, and a misdemeanor count of possession of a controlled substance. She may well be handcuffed to the bed when she delivers that other poor kid.

And even though we are not yet halfway through the year, it looks like the 2012 Hair Balls Bad Mom of the Year contest is over...

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John Nova Lomax
Contact: John Nova Lomax