Stephen Houston: Bonds Out of Jail, Gets Caught Whacking Off in Front of Child Six Hours Later

We have to think that, on the short list of "Things Not to Do Immediately After Bonding Out of Jail," jerking off in front of a toddler would rank near the top.

Evidently it didn't even make Stephen Benet Houston's list, as the 24-year-old Texas City man was charged with indecency with a child just six hours after he bonded out of the Galveston County Jail, where he'd been held "in connection with a shooting," according to authorities.

After leaving jail the evening of June 1, Houston and his girlfriend went to an acquaintance's house for what was surely a very important reason, but then things got weird. Apparently hyper-randy from 48 long hours in the pokey, Houston removed his clothes, began masturbating and refused to leave the premises "until he had sex with his girlfriend," according to the Galveston Daily News.

The fact that a toddler was milling about apparently did nothing to dampen Houston's lasciviousness; fortunately, a Good Samaritan had enough of a sense of decorum to shield the lad's eyes "to prevent him from seeing the incident," according to the paper.

Texas City Police Chief Brian Groetschius described the incident thusly: "Officers entered the apartment and observed [Houston] in the living room. He was ordered to walk toward the officers...but he ran in the kitchen and crouched down." However, Houston quickly surrendered without incident (and apparently without pants).

Police returned Houston to jail, where housekeeping probably hadn't even gotten around to changing the sheets and re-fluffing his pillows. Houston had previously been accused of firing a shotgun three times after three people drove to his apartment complex and "confronted Houston about money," according to the paper. (Trivia: The gun "was loaded with different types of shot cartridges.")

No one was injured in the shooting, but a nearby resident said blasts from Houston's variety-pack shotgun messed up his kitchen.

Houston's being held on $76,000 bond, which is just over three times the bond amount for the shooting charge, so he may not be able to get out as easily. However, if he does, we're sure he won't make the same mistake twice. He'll probably do something low-key, like go to the library or maybe deliver meals to the elderly.

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Contributor Craig Malisow covers crooks, quacks, animal abusers, elected officials, and other assorted people for the Houston Press.
Contact: Craig Malisow