Rocket, if you’re getting so desperate for cash, may I make a little suggestion? Well, actually I’ve got two. Number one involves a former employer who is desperate for pitching, seeing as his ace starter injured himself running the bases against the Houston Astros last Sunday. And with the way New Yorkers have embraced fellow roiders Jason Giambi and Andy Pettitte, I’m sure they would welcome you back in a New York minute – besides, I bet you can’t wait to team back up with your BFF Andy. And since Greg Maddux and Randy Johnson have recently had the nerve to pass you on a couple of the career milestone charts, this is your chance to, once again, show them who’s the boss.
But if you don’t like that option, try this one. Why not finally announce your retirement? Once you do this, your personal services contract with Drayton McLane kicks in, and he’s got to start paying you some big bucks for a couple of years.
I know these options might not be all that you wish they were, but hey, as that great poet Bret Michaels once wrote: “Every rose has its thorn / Just like every night has its dawn / Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song / Every rose has its thorn.”
-- John Royal