Like some kind of nefarious street drug, Wikipedia courses through this addict’s veins, sucking up productive time and turning it into Wikipedia Crack time.
You know what I mean. You meander over to Wikipedia to innocently look up some information about, say, the woman who wrote the novel “Bridge to Terabithia,” and three hours later you’re reading the biography of Miami Dolphins quarterback Dan Marino (honestly) and it’s 2 o’clock in the damn morning and you’ve got dried drool on your chin. It’s those silly little links that suck you in, especially if you’re an overly inquisitive person and a lover of all things trivial such as Miss Pop Rocks. Wikipedia knows you can’t resist reading and clicking and reading and clicking and reading and clicking and cluttering your brain with even more useless knowledge.
So, in an attempt to slow down this problem, I’ve forced myself to write down some of my latest Wikipedia search chains to document my idiocy and time wasted. They are all 100 percent for real.
Dolly Parton to Karl Marx in Six Easy Steps Dolly Parton Skeeter Davis Winona Ryder commune kibbutz socialism Karl Marx
Flashdance to Sodomy Laws in Eight Easy Steps Flashdance blue-collar worker GED Mary Lou Retton Wheaties Olympic Gay Games Homosexuality sodomy laws
Red Dawn to Toni Morrison in Four Easy Steps Red Dawn San Ysidro McDonald’s massacre Dead Milkmen Toni Morrison
Saved by the Bell to Tasmanian Aborigines in Three Easy Steps Saved by the Bell Kelly Kapowski Anthropology Tasmanian Aborigines
Cap’n Jazz to Milton Friedman in Five Easy Steps Cap’n Jazz emo Fugazi price gouging Libertarianism Milton Friedman
I don’t know what any of these searches say about me, but they’re kinda weird, don’t you think? Make me feel better and share below where your Wikipedia journey has taken you. – Jennifer Mathieu
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