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Stuff I Wish I Could Call 911 About (a.k.a. Dumb McNuggets Lady)

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So the lady who called 911 three times because McDonald's wouldn't give her the McNuggets she ordered really deserves to have her voting rights rescinded at the very least. I mean, it's stories like these that make me question the democratic process.

I suppose I understand the sense of anger and frustration that drove her to call the only place she thought could help her, but still...if I called 911 every single time I felt anger and frustration, I would have been on the phone continuously for at least three to four years of my life.

Operator: 911, what is your emergency? Miss Pop Rocks: I can't find my keys. Operator: Ma'm? Miss Pop Rocks: I don't know where they are. I thought they were on the kitchen counter, but I've looked and looked and they're nowhere!

Operator: 911, what is your emergency? Miss Pop Rocks: I'm out of gin. Operator: Ma'm? Miss Pop Rocks: DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? Lady, I am out of gin! Operator: I don't know how to help you. Miss Pop Rocks: Lookssh, lady...either youze gets me somesh more gin or I'll....zzzzz

Operator: 911, what is your emergency? Miss Pop Rocks: My husband took all this stuff out of the pantry, and he left it on the kitchen counter instead of putting it back. Operator: Ma'm? Miss Pop Rocks: We've been together almost ten years, and as many times as I ask him not to do this, he does it. I don't understand. I mean, it's a simple thing, isn't it? You take something out, you put it back in. Operator: This is not a 911 emergency, ma'm, I'm sorry. Miss Pop Rocks: Well I'm pissed!

Operator: 911, what is your emergency? Miss Pop Rocks: I can't decide what to wear to this party. Operator: Ma'm? Miss Pop Rocks: I mean, the yellow dress is cute, but it makes my butt look kind of big. And the pants are comfortable, but I don't know if that's dressy enough. Operator: Ma'm, I have to terminate this call. Miss Pop Rocks: But I don't want to show up looking like a moron!

Operator: 911, what is your emergency? Miss Pop Rocks: I'm soooooooo bored. Operator: Ma'm? Miss Pop Rocks: Seriously. I'm bored to tears. Operator: Have you tried Lifetime? I'm sure there's a nice Tori Spelling movie on right now. Miss Pop Rocks: Oh wow, that's a great idea! Thanks, 911 Operator! Operator: No problem!

Sigh...if only.

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