Sugar Land, as most people who care know, is getting a minor league baseball team and a new stadium to house them.
As is part of the textbook for these things, the owners had a contest for suggestions on what the team should be named. Usually they have a name in mind already, and simply count on someone else coming up with it.
Sugar Land has announced the three finalists for the team name, and sad to say, they are all unspeakably bad.
1. Sugar Land King Canes
A nod to the city's name and past as a sugar center, it sounds more like they're named after a Mardi Gras delicacy. If a pitcher has to undergo Tommy John surgery and the doctor finds a Baby Jesus, he has to ruin someone's arm next year.
2. Sugar Land Lizard Kings
What, there are a lot of balding, pony-tailed burnt-out Doors fans in Sugar Land?
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SHOW ME HOW
Because....We don't know, Sugar Land Traffic or Sugar Land Mall Blandess were taken, but you were still determined to name the team after the most annoying aspect of the town?
Vote for any of the finalists here, on the team's site.