Summer to Finally GTFO This Weekend, Experts Say

"Please leave... we are so tired."
"Please leave... we are so tired." Photo by A Yee via Flickr
click to enlarge "Please leave... we are so tired." - PHOTO BY A YEE VIA FLICKR
"Please leave... we are so tired."
Houstonians who longer wish to feel as if they are commuting to work through the armpit of a pitcher who is not doing well can rejoice as it appears that summer might finally be taking the hint and leaving this weekend.

The impending death of the heat was announced by Eric Berger Tuesday morning over at Space City Weather, easily our best local source for hype-free meteorology. They have an app now, by the way, so feel free to tell the Weather Channel and their constant begging for you to upgrade to a premium weather experience (whatever that means) to get in summer’s car and drive until the pavement turns to dirt.

“We’re not there yet, but we’re close,” says Berger. “Houston faces [a few] more days of summer-like weather before a strong cold front arrives. And then we should reach the time of the year when fronts arrive with some regularity. There will still be warm days, of course, and periods of humid nights. But 90 degree days? I think after Friday we’re done with those for 2021.”

It's been a particularly hot summer here on the jewel of seven bayous. The temperatures reached triple digits by June 13, something that’s only happened twice in more than two decades. The blistering heat led to some power outages as air conditioners bravely tried to keep up, though thankfully nothing as widespread as the failures of the grid in February during the freeze. The Electric Reliability Council of Texas responded to that by asking if Texans could just pretty please turn off their air conditioners because that apparently makes more sense to ERCOT than regulating the energy industry in this state.

The rest of the week will remain a sticky hot mess, and we’re just going to have to hold summer’s hair back as it vomits on our floor until the weekend. After that, highs should be in the 70s and lows in the 50s with clear skies until next week. There will still be a few warm days in the 80s here and there, but autumn has finally begun just in time for Halloween.

Things You Can Do To Celebrate Summer Leaving

*Zoo Boo is happening at the Houston Zoo. Nothing beats hanging out with animals, a giant pumpkin, and not sweating.

*Get some chili from Goode’s Armadillo Palace. They have venison chili and it’s delicious.

*Take in a rollercoaster at Pleasure Pier using our handy, dandy ride ranking.

*Just, like, walk somewhere and not wish for the cool touch of death to end your infernal torment. Your therapist told you to walk 30 minutes a day. I know because all therapists say that.
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Jef Rouner is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner