For someone who watches the biggest television event in America strictly for the breaks, last year was a bummer. Betty White's Snicker's ad, and the Kia commercial featuring a posse of partying toys were two standouts in a year of boring, sexist and outright dumb spots. Will this year be better? Let's kickoff the Super Bowl commercial liveblog!
First, a word. I am the kind of person who is very easily emotionally manipulated by commercials. They often make me cry, or laugh, even when I know I'm being taken advantage of. That said, if you want to watch the commercials right after they air, you can do so on YouTube's Adblitz.
Christina Aquilara has no doubt had a bad year or two, but more and more she's starting to remind me of Hachetface from John Water's Crybaby. People were taking bets on how long her diva-esque version would last but she didn't overdo it. Rocks Off thinks she fubared the words? Not like I wouldn't have done the same thing.
First round of commercials starts with some kid-friendly fare. The McDonald's bears -- there's always a french fry in the bottom of the bag -- was cute but not clever. People remarking on how many commercials involved some kind of social media element. LivingSocial's commercial about using their coupons to step out of one's comfort zone is an early favorite. Racy, funny and kind of touching.
Bud Light extreme home makeover ad was funny for two seconds, had the wife not magically succumbed to the allure of such a shitty beer. Cute Doritos pug wins points until the commercial devolves into slapstick.
Bravo to Kenny G for his cameo in the "Release the Hounds" Audi ad, which pokes fun at the corporate greed that has disgusted America the past few years. Though I still don't know many non-corporate types who could afford an Audi.
What is it with Doritos? Their ads used to be somewhat clever but now it's like they're gearing for the 14 year old boys in the crowd. Pepsi Max's ad turns the dieting woman trope on it's head. I'll admit it. I lulled.
Never a fan of CGI, but the whale in that Chevy/Lassie commercial was pretty cool. And now there have been two Pepsi commercials where cans of the soda have been used as weapons. From now on we're ignoring the rest of the Doritos commercials.
Cowboys and Aliens? Really? Really? And could Brisk not actually afford Eminem?
Okay, for a car ad, the Volt commercial is pretty touching. It almost made me tear up. ALMOST.
WTF? The Go Daddy girl is JOAN RIVERS? They've been revealing her body part by body part as the weeks went by, and at first I was a little disgusted by Danica Patrick and Jillian Micheals' participation in such sexist BS, but they sure pulled one over on me. Can't wait to see what the future commercials bring.
I really don't know what the hell that LOTR-esque Coke commercial was all about. Are there children that watch the Super Bowl?
Okay, the VW Passat baby Vader commercial is too cute. This is probably the perfect Super Bowl commercial because the adorbs aspect appeals to teh wimminz while the Star Wars niches gets the dudes and nerds. Something for everyone!
Ouch. Snickers. I knew it would be hard to top Betty White, but seeing Roseanne plowed to a swinging log seemed distasteful, no matter how many people dislike her.
Who needs Facebook talking to them in their car. Can't your drive home be safe from social media?
Carmax takes cliche to a whole new level. Love it.
And with that it's halftime. Direct your attentions to Rocks Off for Black Eyed Peas commentary.
Some of these commercials are just straight-up boring. All of the TV show spots, and a few of the technology ads, like NFL.com's, which is one we've seen for months already. Guess they got a deal on the coveted slot. WHOA. That Android opposable thumbs ad was creeeepy.
Beiber and Ozzy in a Best Buy commercial. Rocks off goes crazy. By the way, anyone see Beiber on SNL last night? It was pretty funny.
E*Trade needs to retire the talking baby bit.
There was a lot of pre-game talk over LivingSocial's purchase of an early spot versus Groupon's post-halftime commercial. Some people were offended by LivingSocial's used of transgendered people as a punchline. Pretty much everyone was offended by Groupon's ad.
But Coca Cola made up for it almost immediately with this cute and touching spot playing on their legacy of "buying the world a Coke."
Adrian Brody looks hot as always, and the Stella commercial is attractive but way too predictable and overwrought. Carmax scores again with another cute ad evoking the good old days. And then there's Eminem (the real version) asking us to "Keep Detroit Beautiful." This commercial was gorgeously shot.
Seems like there's a dearth of sexist commercials this year. Good, because last year was downright ridiculous with them.
I don't have kids, but I'd go see Rango. Looks like Johnny Depp reprises his role as Hunter S. Thompson, only in leeezard form?
I'm officially over commercials with dogs in them. Even the Boston terrier in that Bud Light commercial couldn't win my heart.
And Pepsi Max's commercials keep getting dumber as the game goes on. I appreciate that they're not trying to sell a diet soda strictly to women, but they're still relying on sexist stereotypes to market.
The Firestone beaver ad was pretty cute. Male companion gives the VW Beetle ad below a hardy thumbs up.
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Even Chevy admits that half these ads make no sense.
And that's the game. Tune in to Hair Balls first thing tomorrow morning for our 5 top picks and the 5 worst commercials.