Too wishy-washy

Tea Party License Plates: Five Better Choices For Texans

Earlier this week

we told you how Texas' vanity license plates might soon be making a Tea Party statement, with choices like the "Don't Tread On Me" flag that has been co-opted by the `baggers.

A spokeswoman for the company who offers the plates through a privatization deal insisted that no political message was meant at all, but we're pretty sure anyone buying that plate will not be an NPR/MSNBC/Jon Stewart fan.

So why go halfway? If you're going to appeal to that crowd, do it up right. Here are five examples of sure moneymakers:

5. Makin' it rain
Calvin's already on half the pickups in Texas, why not put him to use?

4. Why so serious?
Still conflicted over whether Obama's a socialist, a fascist, a crypto-Marxist or whatever Rush said yesterday? We've got you covered.

3. Sarah Smile
Luckily there are no "g"s in the tagline, or the state of Texas would have to decide just how folksy it will allow its plates to get.

2. Rejected
This design was rejected due to an increase in tailgating fenderbenders. Drivers apparently could not tell the "N" from an "H" until they were too close.

1. Going all in
If you're going to appeal to the Tea Partiers, you have to speak their language. Even if that language is lunatic paranoia tinged by laughing all the way to the bank.

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