Teens Not Sexting Photos: Go Back to Worrying About Vodka-Soaked Tampons, Parents

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The shocking surprise news of the morning -- today's teenagers don't spend every waking minute sending nude photos of themselves to each other.

This new study flies in the face of a much more highly scientific method of research, which is bogus journalistic trend stories like "Five Signs Your Child Is Sexting" or "Is Your 12-year-old Daughter Sending Out Nude Pictures of Herself? Watch tonight at 6."

The new study says that instead of texting, most students are spending their time wearing vodka-soaked tampons, doing anal beer bongs and I-dosing on music. Or maybe it doesn't.

Don't lose all faith that everyone else is wildly sexting hawt photos of themselves on their phones, while you're just sitting around playing Angry Birds -- news stories are careful to note that it's only teens that were included in the study.

"The research focused on teens only -- not people in their 20s, an age group included in some earlier studies which showed considerably higher sexting participation," the Associated Press says.

We hear those twentysomethings are also vodka-bonging up their asses while getting high on downloaded music, but that's just us.

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