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Teens Not Sexting Photos: Go Back to Worrying About Vodka-Soaked Tampons, Parents

The shocking surprise news of the morning -- today's teenagers don't spend every waking minute sending nude photos of themselves to each other.

This new study flies in the face of a much more highly scientific method of research, which is bogus journalistic trend stories like "Five Signs Your Child Is Sexting" or "Is Your 12-year-old Daughter Sending Out Nude Pictures of Herself? Watch tonight at 6."

The new study says that instead of texting, most students are spending their time wearing vodka-soaked tampons, doing anal beer bongs and I-dosing on music. Or maybe it doesn't.

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Don't lose all faith that everyone else is wildly sexting hawt photos of themselves on their phones, while you're just sitting around playing Angry Birds -- news stories are careful to note that it's only teens that were included in the study.

"The research focused on teens only -- not people in their 20s, an age group included in some earlier studies which showed considerably higher sexting participation," the Associated Press says.

We hear those twentysomethings are also vodka-bonging up their asses while getting high on downloaded music, but that's just us.

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