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Ten Bathroom Ordinances We Actually Need

The discussion over bathrooms and who gets to use which one, the men's room or the women's room, has overtaken the debate about Houston implementing a proposed non-discrimination ordinance. Last we reported, the city council was set to review changes made to a segment of the ordinance that would give greater rights to transgender people using public restroom facilities.

We discussed the issue here and decided that there were more important ordinances related to bathroom use that ought to be considered. Here are ten of them.

10) Excessive bathroom chatter should be banned

Public bathrooms are the kind of public spaces that shouldn't be open to meeting and gathering, or secret conversations. Do your business, handle your grooming and get to stepping.

9) Require all restrooms to have a supply of toilet-seat covers

Okay, so there's no proof that seat covers will keep you from getting crabs or herpes, but they just feel safer. There are major cities that we've been to where even the gas station bathrooms are outfitted with these.

8.) Hand washing is required Employees shouldn't be the only ones required to wash the fecal matter off their hands. How many times have you shaken someone's moist hand after he or she has been to the bathroom? This is also good at keeping infectious viruses in check.

7.) Bathroom loitering Seriously, this is almost like the chatty folks in the bathroom. But this is the person who stands around "fart chasing," as someone told us. Don't hang around the restroom checking your phone, reading poems or anything like that.

6.) Overstuffing the toilet with paper This is just sick. For the people who think lining the toilet seat with paper will keep the previous person's butt germs off of you, think again. This is wasteful and causes a mess for the custodian.

5.) Phone conversations while you're on the toilet People take their phones out everywhere. It's all right to check your email while you're on the can, but by all means, wait until you're done to start clacking away on your cell phone while you do your business.

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4.) Talking to the person next to you at the urinal It's more of a guy thing. Personal space is interrupted enough when you sidle up to a urinal to pee. No need for extensive looking over and down, or feeling the need to strike up a conversation about baseball scores.

3.) Bathroom selfies We miss the time when bathrooms weren't photo booths. Seems so long ago. But, yeah, no one wants to see Instagram photos of you in a club bathroom.

2.) Standardized attendant tipping So how much for a hand towel, a spritz of smell-good and a breath mint? These rates should all be standardized.

1.) Urinating on the toilet seat This goes for the boys and the girls. Nothing worse than being in a rush and finding out too late. Peeing on toilet seats is a foul crime that people need to be held accountable for.

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