Ten Reasons Drayton McLane Might’ve Rejected Bud Selig’s Plea to Get Out of Town

As those of you who read Ballz know, the meme that Bud Selig is an evil, evil man – who forced the Astros to play two games against the Chicago Cubs in Milwaukee despite Hurricane Ike ravaging Houston and making the players abandon their families – is a lie. I’ve debunked this crap several times in the past week, and I’ve pointed out the facts indicating that the person responsible for this is actually Astros owner Drayton McLane.

Our spies have been playing around the Minute Maid Park offices of Drayton McLane, and they found a list of the reasons that Drayton McLane used to reject Bud Selig’s pleas to get the Astros and their families to safety before Ike hit.

10. I didn’t build a hurricane-proof ballpark for it to not be used to play baseball during a hurricane.

9. If the Chicago Cubs can play baseball while it’s lightning, then they can play a game during hurricane-force winds.

8. I was holding out until Bud offered to play the games in Temple.

7. I figured that, if the players stayed here during the hurricane, some of them might get washed away during the storm surge and I could reduce my payroll as a result.

6. There’s no way I’m refunding the costs of the120,000-plus tickets that were sold for the three game series with the Cubs.

5. Real men ride it out.

4. Those whiny fans were bitching about the lack of air-conditioning during the New York Yankee series. Let’s see those bastards whine now.

3. That bastard Bud Selig forced me to open the roof for the 2005 World Series. Let’s see him force it open during a hurricane.

2. I thought playing the series with the Cubs during a hurricane would give the guys another excuse to use for not making the playoffs this season.

1. That’s our slogan, after all. Astros Baseball: Something To Do Until the Hurricane Comes Inland.

-- John Royal

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