^
Keep Houston Press Free
4

Ten Texas Towns That Could Use a Name Change

For Thanksgiving, the stunt-publicity experts at PETA are asking the tiny Texas town of Turkey to change its name to Tofurky. In exchange for the one-day name change, PETA promised to reward the town's residents with holiday meals of "Tofurky with mushroom gravy, mashed potatoes (made with vegan margarine), and vegan apple pie topped with vanilla dairy-free ice cream" -- just like the Pilgrims ate!

While we wait with bated breath to see if Turkey will indeed change its name, we're thinking of other Texas towns that might want to change their names -- not for vegan purposes, but just because their names are kinda, well, silly. Here are the towns we have so far...

Uncertain This small hamlet's moniker probably leads to much confusion.

"So where are you from?" "Uncertain." "What? How can you not know where you're from?" "I said it's Uncertain!" "Well, if you're so confused, can't you ask your mom or something?" I think you can see where we're going with this...

Van

Naming a town after the preferred mode of transportation for child molesters worldwide? No thank you. How about something more respectable, like El Camino?

Kountze Too much room for gaffes in pronunciation. Muenster Acceptable alternatives include Swiss, colby, pepperjack and gouda.

Brownwood Heh....Brownwood

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Staples Sister city to Office Depot, Japan

Novice Couldn't they have at least gone with Intermediate? Iraan Aawkward. Fate To us, this just seems spooky. It might as well be called Twilight Zone, Texas, or something. A town where you go to die.

Canadian By what standards is this name acceptable?

Let us hear your suggestions!

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.