In his 15-year NFL career, future Hall of Fame wide receiver, bipolar diva and noted pain in the ass Terrell Owens set numerous records.
For example, Owens is the only player in the history of the league to score a touchdown against all 32 teams. (He took it a step further, actually, and scored at least two against all 32 teams.) He holds the league record for most consecutive seasons (11) with at least six touchdowns receiving. He holds the 49ers' team record for catches in a game (20).
By any "on the field" measurement, Owens was a transcendent talent whose bust in Canton should already be finished and stored and awaiting unveiling in 2016.
Now, "off the field" is a different story, and I don't know what the NFL record is for "shortest marriage," but it would appear that Owens is making a run at it, whatever it is.
As the story goes, a couple of weeks ago, back on January 23, Owens married a woman by the name of Rachel Snider in a secret ceremony at a courthouse in Newhall, California. Well, Snider found out what Jeff Garcia learned in San Francisco, what Donovan McNabb learned in Philadelphia and what Jerry Jones learned in Dallas -- the T.O. Experience seems like it could be fun, like it should be fun, but it's actually a pride-swallowing siege.
And while those football marriages managed to last anywhere from several months to a couple of years before shriveling up from toxicity, the implosion of Snider's marriage with Owens only took two weeks!
Courtesy of TMZ on Saturday morning, we found out that Snider has left Owens -- actually, she's bailed from the state of California altogether -- and that she plans on filing for divorce as soon as possible. It seems that Snider feels like she was being used by Owens for financial reasons.
A little background on Owens (or likely, a little refresher for many of you) -- despite making $80 million during his playing days, Owens has been on the wrong end of financial turmoil for a few years now, dating back to his association with Drew Rosenhaus (which ended in Owens's filing a multimillion-dollar lawsuit against the agent). Years of checkbook-choking child support payments (at one time, reportedly as high as $45,000 per month) to four different baby mommas didn't help, either.
It's Snider's belief that the only reason Owens married her was for her money, so that he could get approved for a $2 million loan for a home in Sherman Oaks, California.
So you might wonder exactly what Rachel Snider does for a living to where she can get approved for a $2 million loan and drag Owens's fiscal issues along with her. Well, go ahead and guess...and guess again....and again....and again....and again. Okay, never mind, stop guessing; we will be here all day...
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SHOW ME HOW
Rachel Snider is a postal worker.
So, the point of this post is not to make fun of Terrell Owens and his life/financial difficulties. Those are sad, not humorous. The point is not to be condescending toward postal workers. Work is work, I respect that. The point is not even to give Rachel Snider a big, fat "I told you so" about getting into a relationship with a ticking psychological time bomb like Owens.
No, my point with this story is this --- what exactly are they paying postal workers in California to where Rachel Snider can secure a $2 million home loan?