Texans-Patriots: Brand New BATTLE-DRINK Bingo Drinking Card

The time is almost here. This week's game of the century is upon us. Texans versus Patriots in New England.

The storyline is simple for the Texans -- win, and you are one win away from hosting playoff games all the way up to the Super Bowl in New Orlens. Lose, and you're one bad week against the Colts next week away from a dogfight just to win your own division. Amazing dichotomy.

The only way to get through this as a Texans fan is with as much alcohol as possible, even if you have to be a a meeting 8 a.m. Tuesday morning. So welcome back the BINGO drinking game sweeping the nation! Here is this Monday's version of Battle-Drink!

Here are this week's changes to the standard card:

B4: ESPN shows AFC standings These are the two teams that are not only atop he AFC standings, but also the odds-on favorites for the Super Bowl. On a night where the only thing really truly on the line is playoff seeding and home field advantage in the playoffs, we will get frequent graphical reminders of what the landscape currently looks like.

I1: Brandon Harris pass defended G4: Roc Carmichael interception Four weeks ago, Brandon Harris and Roc Carmichael (both 2011 draft choices) were on the inactive list and not even suiting up. Now, with Brice McCain out, Alan Ball banged up, and Johnathan Joseph's groin in perenninal strain-watch, both second year guys are active and integral. Hers hoping they get you shitfaced.

I3: Christmas song rejoiner music played It's the MOST wonderful time of the year! ESPN better treat it as such.

I5: Reference to Texans letterman jackets The big thing on Twitter this weekend has been the Texans all getting varsity letterman style jackets for the trip to New England. The pictures have been fantastic and I've been half expecting guys like Duane Brown and Chris Myers to head down to the Tastee Freeze and start a rumble with Vince Wilfork. Awesome high school feel.

N1: Reference to tennis racquets  Rumor this week out of New England's camp had Bill Belichick instructing all of the Patriot defensive linemen to practice holding up tennis racquets at the line of scrimmage to simulate J.J. Watt and his swatting ability. How do we not have video of this???

O3: Wes Welker "sure hands" reference O4: Wes Welker "runs precise routes" reference O5: Wes Welker "high football IQ" reference Wes Welker is white, and the announcers like to remind us of that in ever so subtly and without using the word "white." Wes Welker's whiteness could spell the undoing of your liver.

Listen to Sean Pendergast (Notre Dame, Class of 1991) on 1560 The Game from 6 a.m. to 11 a.m. weekdays, and watch the simulcast on Comcast 129 from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.

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