Texas Tries, But Can't Lead The Nation In Bank Robberies

As faithful Hair Balls readers know, Houston loves it some bank robbin'. The FBI office here eagerly hands out nicknames to robbers (Best one yet: the fiend called "Read My Lips" because he has some ailment that discolors his lips).

We've had polite robbers, reckless robbers, guys dressed as construction workers, robbers whose sense of fashion the FBI found wanting and worthy of criticism.

What we haven't had, though, is enough bank robberies to lead the nation. This is very disappointing for the state that gave the world not only Bonnie, but Clyde too.

The FBI today released its study of 2008 bank robberies nationwide, and Texas could finish only a paltry third.

The state had 481 robberies in 2008. Good enough, you say? Not when California is pumping out 912 and New York 499. (Nationally there were 6,849 incidents and $61.6 million was taken.)

(We were, at least, far ahead of the fourth-place finisher, Florida and its 355 robberies.)

Other highlights from the report:

1) Worst time to be in a bank branch: Tuesday from 9-11 a.m. That's when 1,803 robberies occurred; next worse was Wednesdays, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., when 1,629 happened.

2) Sixty-five people actually tried to rob a bank via its drive-thru window. Or maybe the same idiot tried it 65 times.

3) Which is the preferred communication between robber and robbee -- A note, or just an oral demand? It's actually pretty close. There were 3,833 demand notes usedand 3,683 oral demands.

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Richard Connelly
Contact: Richard Connelly