Thank God Joseph Montross Is A Blithering Idiot

Sure, Joseph Montross is a sick individual -- he not only enjoys child pornography, he produces it, and being a sick individual is pretty much a prerequisite for that. But, luckily for the rest of society, Montross is also inutterably stupid.

Or maybe we're judging him too harshly.

Let's say you're a child pornographer. It's probably not something you casually mention to the neighbors over cookies on National Night Out; you're smoother than that.

But you are cursed with ambition. You want to work for the Border Patrol. So you apply for the job, which is a friggin' law-enforcement job. You continue with the hiring process even after you find out it includes a lie-detector test. And then you show up and take the lie-detector test.

You are, indeed, an idiot. Thank God.

Houstonian Montross, 30, failed the lie-detector test. As the U.S. Attorney's office puts it:  "Montross, who had applied for employment with CBP, had admitted during a pre-employment polygraph examination to possessing child pornography on his home computer."

Hey, so maybe he didn't fail the lie-detector test, since he answered honestly. He just failed the "Are You In-fucking-sane?" test.

The sordid details:

In July, 2008, while reviewing the images and videos found during the forensic analysis, an ICE agent observed videos that contained child pornography and appeared to be made by Montross. Based on this information, federal agents went back to Montross' residence on July 21, 2008, and searched for additional computers and equipment. The majority of the images and videos were found on the external hard drives. Montross admitted to federal agents that he made ten of the videos. Agents seized approximately 9,000 images and 107 videos most of which had been downloaded via the internet. The images included prepubescent females involved with bondage, penetration, oral sex and masturbation.

Montross has been sentenced to 30 years in prison. US Attorney's office spokeswoman Angela Dodge tells Hair Balls that upon his release, he will be subject to court supervision for the rest of his life.

The official statement from the US Attorney's office says "Montross has been ordered to register as a sex offender and will be prohibited from accessing the internet or visiting/attending any place where children under the age of 18 congregate for the duration of his term of supervised release."

It doesn't specifically mention barring him from re-applying for the Border Patrol, but we guess that's a given.

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Richard Connelly
Contact: Richard Connelly