So I was just strolling through the Galleria last weekend to pick up some shoes and a Chinese herbal tea infusion set when I spotted this three-story banner ad for the Hotze Health and Wellness Center. "Health and wellness," I thought, "I like both of those things." But something about Hotze stuck in my mind, and no, it wasn't a strong to desire to roll five 6s and yell it.
"Hotze, Hotze," I muttered to myself. Then it hit me. Hotze was Dr. Nice. Just a year ago the Houston Press had set its sights on Dr. Steven Hotze, a local doc who proffers both biblical and natural cures, most of which are either total bunk, or mostly bunk, as Craig Malisow detailed in the story. His services are quite expensive though, and the Galleria shoppers are just the market; it's only natural he'd be peddling his hokum outside Neiman Marcus. If they're willing to drop $20,000 on coats, they're probably willing to spend on junk medicine. Then again, as Malisow pointed out:
Although his services are expensive, Hotze's claims -- if true -- are well worth it. His products can be used to mitigate adrenal fatigue, allergies, angina, asthma, breast cancer, bad breath, chronic hepatitis, cirrhosis, depression, diabetes, excess mucous production, hair loss, headaches, hemorrhoids, high blood pressure, impaired map-reading ability, jaundice, osteoporosis, ovarian cysts, PMS, prostate cancer, ugliness, thyroid disorders, yeast overgrowth and much more.
There are no nasty side effects. Forget what the National Institutes of Health, the National Women's Health Network and the FDA say: If you believe in Hotze's potions, they will work. Your health is the most important thing you have. And, as it says in Hotze's literature: "All wealth is founded on health."
Just who's wealth he's talking about isn't exactly clear.
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