The 10 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Business Names in Houston

Page 2 of 2

At any rate, evidently someone finally got to McLane and no Big Units ever slid between the lips of warm, moist buns at the Astrodome. (Per Wikipedia, Johnson himself was not so prudish. He served up 22-inch Big Unit dogs at his restaurant in the Phoenix area.)

But other local businesses pressed on ahead with their naughty, unintentionally hilarious and/or disgusting names. Here are ten of the best:

10. BJ Services When Baker Hughes paid $5.5 billion for BJ Services a couple of years ago, many wags thought the price was too stiff. After all, BJ services can be purchased for $10 on many area street corners.

9. Finger-Lickin' Bukateria Here's what Houston Press food critic Katharine Shilcutt had to say about this Southwest Side eatery:

Oh, you silly Nigerians, placing the term "finger-licking" right next to a word that sounds strikingly like one of the filthiest terms in all of pornography. The "finger-licking" here refers to the fact that you have to continually wet your fingers while eating the sticky balls of fufu that accompany your soup. A "bukateria" is a portmanteau of the words "buka" (a Nigerian term for an "eating house") and cafeteria. But to clueless Houstonians, these two items create the perfect storm of eyebrow-raising and dirty laughter.

8. Runny Food Store Ick. That's all. Just ick. (It's on North Durham a little south of West 11th.)

7. Backdoor Sushi The owners of this defunct River Oaks Plaza Japanese joint stumbled onto what is quite possibly the best-ever name for an Asian porn movie.

6. Chewy Balls Tapioca Teas This defunct Spring teahouse had a very descriptive name. Also a very silly and naughty one.

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
John Nova Lomax
Contact: John Nova Lomax