The 4th of July on a Wednesday: Maximum Dysfunction for the Work Week

Everybody loves the 4th of July, at least in America, but if there's one time we don't love it as much as others, it's when it falls on a Wednesday.

Other holidays can be easily adjusted. Memorial Day, the sacred date we set aside to honor those who gave their last full measure of devotion? Fuck it, we're changing it from May 30 to the last Monday in May so we can get some swim time, beer & BBQ in.

July 4, though, is a little harder to move, since it's pretty much stuck to a date.

So that means every seven years you get a Wednesday 4th. And it messes things up because:

3. You can't really slide it into a four-day weekend Christmas on a Tuesday or Thursday? Orders are clear -- that Monday or Friday is all but written off as a holiday, and you can reliably rate your employer on dickishness by how sharply they follow what their workforce is doing. Preferred approach by employers includes winking.

2. It's going to be a slow week No matter what choice you make, business will be slow for most people all week. That, of course, leaves you a choice: Work all week and take advantage of the slowness, or take off two days to make a really long weekend? It depends on what your job is, of course, but if it means showing up and getting paid for not doing much, with no penalty (i.e., you're not on commission) and you've saved up two vacation days, the decision seems clear.

1. Take off Monday-Tuesday or Thursday-Friday? Like we say, it's a good bet a ton of people will be taking off either Monday/Tuesday of next week or Thursday/Friday. So which two days should you choose?

Think about it. The Monday, and especially the Tuesday, before the 4th will consist of offices in ultimate clock-watching mode, and we're betting lots of late-Tuesday afternoon getaways. ("Client meeting," here we come!)

The Thursday-Friday atmosphere will include a laid-back and probably lengthy post-holiday readjustment mood, with the weekend already looming over everything.

Pick your poison for which choice works better for you. Remember, taking off Thursday and Friday means more time to deal with any beer/fireworks-related tickets or jail time.

Stay safe, brave Fourthers.

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