Ok, I know a lot of you probably have Deflate-Gate fatigue, and I guess I would tell you, if that is the case, to hunker down or cancel your internet service, because this sucker is about to get drawn out O.J. style. Big gun attorneys are now involved (what up, Jeff Kessler?) and Tom Brady doesn't appear to be caving on his contention that he knew nothing about the "more probable than not" efforts to deflate footballs prior to the AFC Title Game (or any other game, for that matter).
It's about to get ugly, with lots of fighting — one side you have the league, its commissioner, and its executive committee and on the other side you have Brady, Robert Kraft, and their army of high powered, well paid legal experts. Now that I think about it, how could you possibly have fatigue over this? It's gonna be AWESOME!
That said, just in case you're tired of the serious tones and contentiousness of the whole thing (and as I typed those words, the Patriots just released a report where they themselves are clarifying the context of all the text messages in the Wells Report, oh dear), I want to help you laugh a little. Laugh at Deflate-Gate, laugh at Tom Brady, and laugh about the word "balls"!
Because balls are funny! So with that in mind, here are my five favorite parodies of this whole absurd Deflate-Gate mess, or at least the five best ones that I've found. (If you know of more, by all means, send them to me!)
5. "Deflate It Nice For Brady"
I'll be honest, I don't know who this guy is who did this video, and it's paltry 6,000 views leads me to believe I'm not supposed to know, but this is pretty good! Best part of the whole thing is the somber Belichick character, and every time he peeks out from behind his clipboard. Love that! Also, ironically, the guy playing Brady looks like he could be Drew Bledsoe's little brother.
4. "I Am The Locker Room Guy"
Jimmy Kimmel parodies are the best, and this one is pretty good. His friendships with the Boston area acting mafia help here, with Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and John Krasinski playing prominent roles. There's even a Bill Simmons cameo (and wisely, it's kept short so Simmons doesn't have to act)! Oddly enough, my favorite part might be the very end when Damon (playing the role of "Cubby Herlihy") says he acted alone, and Kimmel walks into the shot and says he acted alone because nobody wants to act with him…because he sucks at acting. BURN!
3. SNL Cold Open, Press Conference Parody
Am I off base by saying that Kenan Thompson's impersonations are so funny because they're so horrible? He doesn't sound a thing like Greg Gumbel (or Charles Barkley or any of the other handful of people he mimics). I'm not saying he's not funny, but whatever. This skit is made by Bobby Moynihan's "Dougie Spoons" character and his A Few Good Men speech (which, while formulaic, is still funny to me).
2. "Those Balls Are Perfect"
It was just a matter of time before someone auto tuned that January presser. Kudos to the dude who superimposed the hands in this video, especially the part where they hold up Christmas ornaments as an example of "perfect balls."
1. Carol Brady Responds To The Madness
I don't know when Betty White's time will come. She might very well live forever, but if and when she does pass on, I look forward to Florence Henderson taking over the title of "most self aware female octogenarian celebrity". I think she will be good at it.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on SportsRadio 610 from 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanTPendergast.