For the first time in a long time, the Houston Astros will not be led by a hyper, motto-spouting grocery magnate. Drayton McLane has sold the team to Houston businessman Jim Crane.
It may be the first piece of Astro news you've bothered with this year. The team was expected to be bad and has fully lived down to the expectations. Bottom of the league, unexciting play, hopelessness abounding.
How well have you been paying attention? Take this quick quiz and find out.
1. Which one of these players is NOT on the current Astros' 25-man roster? a) Matt Downs b) Jeff Fulchino c) Sergio Escalona d) Wilton Lopez
2. From the Astro headlines: The official team blog had a recent headline "Barmes encouraged that slump's in rearview." According to the item, what did he do to prove his slump was over? a) "went 3-4 with two RBIs" b) "homered in the fourth and doubled home a run in the eighth" c) "hit a bloop single" d) "hit for the cycle"
3. On May 14, Astro Chris Johnson said he would be sending his family "a bunch of" something. What? a) Astro tickets, because no one else wants them b) Passes for SpaceCenter Houston when they come into town, so they don't have to watch the Astros c) Picked-clean buffalo-wing bones from Carlos Lee's locker d) His bobblehead doll
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4. The Astros' official daily attendance average is about 24,000. In terms of people actually in the stadium, this figure is as close to reality as: a) Baghdad Bob's daily updates on Saddam Hussein's Revolutionary Guards kicking U.S. Army ass b) A glowing blurb from "60 Second Reviews" saying some new movie is "hilarious fun for the whole family!!" c) Stories each spring that Carlos Lee has really dedicated himself to getting in shape in the offseason d) All of the above
5. True or false: You used to watch a lot of Astro games on TV. Now, not so much.
6. How many teams in the National League have hit fewer homers than the Astros this year? a) None b) Well, the Padres suck. Maybe them? c) The Pirates? d) The Cubs -- it's gotta be the Cubs at least, right? Right?
Answers: 1) HAH! Trick question!! These are all current Astros, believe it or not. 2) c 3) d 4) d 5) True. (Unless you never watched much in the first place.) 6) a