The Buffalo Bayou Pedestrian Bridge Needs A New Name

The Buffalo Bayou Pedestrian Bridge Needs A New Name

No one can tolerate the name of Houston's newest pedestrian bridge, the Tolerance Bridge (get it?).

The Houston Chronicle reports that the mayor's office is seeking new names for the $7 million bridge over Buffalo Bayou near Allen Parkway and Montrose after city council members cried "lame."

The Houston Arts Alliance will take suggestions from Houstonians over what the weird span should be called.

The bridge has a funky curved design that is modernistic and far too sophisticated for the likes of people who might say "Why's it look so stupid?'

Though we may count ourselves in that heathen crowd, we nevertheless fell civically compelled to offer our suggestions for a new name.

Enron Bridge. Because no one should forget Ken Lay. Plus the thing is twisted, so it's like a metaphor or a simile or one of those things.

The T-Mac Trestle. Shit, we should get something out of that trade.

The Chuck Rosenthal Tolerance Of Fried-Chicken OD'ing People Bridge. Surely, we cannot let the storied name of former DA Chuck Rosenthal and his wild e-mailing ways go unremembered in our fair city.

The Bridge of Sighs. Because 11 minutes of tepid prog-rock is better than "The Tolerance Bridge."

-- Richard Connelly

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