You were aware there's a citywide election Tuesday, right? You get the chance to elect a new mayor, councilmembers AND weigh in on vitally important proposed state constitutional amendments like whether El Paso County should be added to the list of counties authorized to create conservation and reclamation districts to develop parks and recreational facilities financed by taxes.
So clearly, there's a lot on the line. That must be why early voting has reached almost 70 percent of the 2009 figure.
But no one should vote without being informed. To see just how well you are up on the current crop of candidates, take our five-part quiz.
1. Who is running for Mayor -- of Houston -- by bragging about campaigning for Barry Goldwater in 1964, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan? a) Someone whose name you needn't bother to learn b) Someone whose ads run on KSEV c) Someone whose ads contain the words "sanctuary city" d) All of the above
2. Which city council candidate has tirelessly -- and, pretty quickly, tediously -- tried to use his or her name as a double-entendre? a) Mulva Jones b) Codpiece J. Wilson c) Tits McGee d) Eric Dick Answer: d. Dick has headlined his press releases with such rapier witticisms as "[Annise] Parker Afraid of Dick" and "Dick Stands Up to Parker"
3. Is Mike "Griff" Griffin running? a) Is there an election? Then yes b) Bear, shitting in woods, etc c) Pope, funny hat, etc d) Is Griff still alive? Then yes
Answer: Any are acceptable
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SHOW ME HOW
4. The webpage of at-large council candidate Amy Price describes Houston as "hot, muggy [and] mosquito-infested." Why? a) Because "It's the people who make [Houston] special" b) Because she actually believes she's running for council in Dallas c) Because she's a member of the Green Party, and that's just how they roll d) Because come on, it ain't like she's lying
Answer: a, c or d are acceptable
5. Charles Ingram, running for Council District B, has exactly one item in the "News" section of his website. What does it say? a) On June 13: "Website created!!!...This website is still under construction, please visit us later!" b) "No news is good news!" c) "Nothing to see here. folks, move along"