It's come to this.
In the wake of the shooting in Colorado and the countless other shootings in offices and public places, the City of Houston, in conjunction with the Mayor's Office of Public Safety and Homeland Security, released "RUN. HIDE. FIGHT. Surviving an Active Shooter Event" on YouTube.
The six-minute clip describes how "occasionally life feels more like an action movie than reality" and depicts a buff and well-armed Terminator-style shooter entering a glossy office and blowing away bystanders with a pump-action shotgun with a mounted tactical flashlight. Was he their boss? Someone's ex-husband? An angry Yelp user?
The "RUN" segment details how to flee from the shooter or shooters, and the "HIDE" goes about the ways you can stealthily hide from their view.
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It's the "FIGHT" scenario that is the best part.
The panicky and teary-eyed (of course the white girl loses her shit) multiracial crew makes a stand against the muscled gunman with a chair, a door and a fire extinguisher, which all give you super powers against a 12-gauge shotgun. This is all in the event that fighting is your last resort.
Without giving too much away, let's just say that the Super Friends are going to be getting a hella raise and some vacay time after this at the office.