Well, it’s time for another weekend of college football. And as I didlast week
, I’m celebrating Charlize Theron and linking games to sexy women. Yes, I want the readers anyway I can get them.
Let’s get to it.
The Charlize Theron Sexiest Games of the Week Award:
No. 14 Florida (5-2) going to No. 8 Kentucky (6-1). Kentucky pulled off the huge upset last week, defeating then No. 1 LSU in triple overtime. This game pits two Heisman candidates in Florida QB Tim Tebow and Kentucky QB Andre Woodson. Kentucky last beat Florida in 1986. Florida has lost two straight (Auburn and LSU), and it hasn’t lost three straight games since the final three games of 1999.
The second game also involves the SEC, with (18) Auburn traveling to Baton Rouge to take on the 6-1 LSU Tigers. LSU has won 17 consecutive home games.
The Sandra Bullock Sexiest Games Involving Teams from Texas Award:
No. 19 UT (5-2) is traveling to Waco to take on Baylor (3-4). This starts what should be an easy streak for UT as only 1 of 6 of their final games are against a ranked team. And the Horns are now going for a tenth straight win over Baylor. Baylor has been outscored 135-43 in three Big 12 games this season. But that’s not the bad news for Baylor. One of Baylor’s assistant coaches was cited for public urination at a bar (and on the bar) earlier this week. I didn’t think Baptists knew how to drink – or maybe that’s the problem here, Baptists don’t know how to drink.
The 5-2 Aggies are traveling to Nebraska (4-3). Some people might think the Aggies are a program in turmoil. But Nebraska fired its Athletic Director this week and brought in Tom Osborne (the coach of three Nebraska championship teams) to run the program on an interim basis. Nebraska has lost its last two games by a combined score of 86-20, but the Cornhuskers are 10-2 all-time against the Aggies. The Aggies, despite their failings this season, are still tied for first in the Big 12 South division and have allowed the fewest points of all teams in conference play.
No. 22 Texas Tech (6-1) is taking on No. 15 Missouri (5-1). Tech was held to a season low in points by the Aggies last week, and still won by a 35-7 score. Tech QB Graham Harrell is average 450.1 yards passing per game, and he’s thrown for 31 TDs in 7 games. His favorite target is receiver Michael Crabtree who’s caught 78 passes for 1244 yards and 17 TD. The Aggies held Crabtree to zero touchdowns last week, which was the first time he was held to no TDs this season.
The Cougars (3-3) are tied for first in the Conference USA West Division and are traveling to Birmingham to take on C-USA rival UAB (2-4). Cougar running back Anthony Aldridge tore through the Rice defense last week for 205 yards and 4 TD on 24 rushes. Wide receiver Donnie Avery blistered the Rice secondary for 346 receiving yards and 2 TDs, and with return yards on kicks and punts, he had a total of 427 all-purpose yards. And Cougar head coach Art Briles was named to the Texas Sports Hall of Fame.
The big game in Houston tomorrow is at Rice Stadium as the Rice Owls (1-6) try to recover from last week’s loss to the Cougars by taking on the Memphis Tigers (2-4). The Owls led the Cougars 48-35 after three quarters last week, then proceeded to give up 21 points and lose 56-48. The Owl goals this week, beside getting the win, involve holding Memphis to under 748 total yards on offense (Cougar totals last week), and keeping Memphis under the 50-point total.
TSU attempts once again to get its first victory of the season as it takes on Mississippi Valley State. While unable to collect a win, TSU is third in passing in the SWAC.
Tulane visits SMU, and UTEP, which is 4-3 and tied with the Cougars for first in the Conference USA West Division is idle this week.
The Ashley Judd Middle America Sexiest Game Award:
No. 24 Michigan (5-2) is taking on Illinois. Michigan is 5-0 since opening losses to Appalachian State and Oregon, and it has six consecutive wins over Illinois. Illinois had upset Penn State and Wisconsin to get ranked, then were themselves upset last week.
The Scarlett Johansson Previously Sexiest Games of the Week Award:
No. 13 USC is traveling to South Bend to take on Notre Dame. USC is out of the Top Ten for the first time since October of 2002, and it needed ten points in the fourth quarter last week to defeat Arizona 20-13. Notre Dame has the worst ranked offense in the country, and it’s second-to-last in scoring. Offensive genius Charlie Weis is on his third QB of the season.
No. 10 Cal (5-1) is traveling to the Rose Bowl to battle UCLA (4-2). Cal knew that LSU had lost when it was playing last week. Cal knew that a win would make it the number one ranked team in the country. Cal lost. And UCLA has won six straight PAC 10 games. Then again, it did lose to Notre Dame.
The Emily Deschanel Should Be Surprisingly Sexy Games Award:
Vanderbilt at 3-3 is taking on sixth ranked South Carolina at 6-1. Steve Spurrier is 14-0 all-time as a coach against Vanderbilt, including 2-0 as coach of South Carolina. Vanderbilt started the season at 3-1, then started playing conference games.
No. 20 Tennessee (4-2) is taking on Alabama (5-2). Yes, I know that most of these games seem to involve the SEC, but that is where the action is this week. Tennessee is working on three straight wins, and Alabama’s battled the past two weeks to defeat inferior teams.
Michigan State at 5-2 will be taking on No. 1 Ohio State (7-0). Ohio State’s trying for its 26th consecutive regular season win, and its 17th at home. It’s also going for its sixth straight win over Michigan State. Though ranked number one, Ohio State has only one victory over a ranked team this season. Michigan State is 3-13-1 against teams ranked number one and has lost six straight against teams ranked in the Top 25.
The Pam Anderson Is She Really Sexy Anymore Game Award:
No. 4 Oklahoma (6-1) is battling Iowa State (1-6). Iowa State’s been outscored 133-37 in Big 12 play this season, and it has lost its last 19 games against Oklahoma. Yawn.
And a new category…
The Michelle Pfeiffer Retro Sexiest Game of the Week Award:
No. 2 South Florida (6-0) went to Tony Soprano territory last night to take on Rutgers (4-2) last night. It’s really a shame that this wasn’t the game on primetime Saturday night. Two high-scoring teams with the added drama of South Florida – a team that didn’t exist 12 years ago – battling for the number one ranking.
And it would be easy to call Rutgers 30-27 win over South Florida a huge upset. But while it was an upset, it wasn’t huge. Rutgers was one of the surprise teams of last season and kept much of their talent, including stud running back Ray Rice.
I do wonder where the big upset will be this weekend… -- John Royal
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