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The College Football Preview, Week Ten: Reality TV Bites

Well, can you believe it?

The writers are about to go on strike

. No, not those of us at the


. Those who write your TV shows and your movies. Do you know what that means? More reality TV. As if this TV season couldn’t get any worse.

What does any of this have to do with this weekend of college football? Just that this weekend of games is going to suck as much as reality-TV 24/7. So, in honor of reality TV, all day, all the time, let’s take a brief preview of this weekend in college football.

The Amazing Race Best Game of the Week Award:

In honor of The Amazing Race, the best reality show on TV, which is kicking off a new season this weekend, comes the best college football game of the weekend, (6) Arizona State (8-0) at (4) Oregon (7-1). Oregon’s ranked fourth in the country, averaging 524.4 yards per game on offense, and fifth in the nation in scoring at 43.8 points per game. Arizona State is limiting opponents to 15.6 points per game. Arizona State is ranked fourth in the all-important BCS ranks, and Oregon is fifth. It’s very conceivable that the winner of this game will be playing for the National Championship in January.

The Survivor Overrated, But Still Could Be Best Games of the Week Award:

This is in honor of the most overrated of the reality shows.

No. 3 LSU (7-1) is visiting (17) Alabama (6-2). The story here is Nick Saban, the former LSU coach who left to coach the Miami Dolphins of the NFL, then quit the Dolphins to coach LSU’s SEC rival Alabama. This is the first time these two teams will be meeting since Saban’s returned to college football. Alabama has lost four straight games to LSU, but Alabama is hoping to turn that around.

The Aggies (6-3) are playing (5) Oklahoma (7-1). The Sooners are going for their fourth straight win. Oklahoma is averaging 56.3 points per game, and is 10-2 versus A&M when playing in Norman. The Aggies have the ninth-ranked rushing offense at 239.4 yards per game, but they only got 74 rushing yards last week versus Kansas.

No. 14 UT (7-2) is playing Oklahoma State (5-3). UT running back Jamaal Charles had 290 rushing yards and 3 TDs last week versus Nebraska, including 216 yards in the fourth quarter. But UT is only 1-2 this season against teams with winning records.

The American Idol It May Be Popular But It Ain’t Good Award:

Sure, it’s fun to watch Paula Abdul, but this show really isn’t good. Speaking of which, say hello to Florida State (5-3) visiting (2) Boston College (8-0). Boston College is primed for an upset. And it’s possible Florida State could possibly be that team. Then again, which Florida State team will show up, the drunken Paula Abdul, or the surprisingly sober Paula who kind of gets angry at Simon every now and then?

The Dancing With The Stars Don’t Pass Out And Fade Away Award:

In honor of Marie Osmond, fainting away just when it counted. (And what’s with Jane Seymour and this sickness thing, anyway?)

Wisconsin (7-2) will play (1) Ohio State (9-0). Wisconsin is looking for its third straight win after falling from the Top 25, and it’s looking for its third straight win over Ohio State. These two teams last played in October of 2004. Ohio State is looking for its 20th straight conference win. Ohio State is primed for a defeat, just like Boston College, and Wisconsin could be the team to pull it off, which is doubtful. But if Ohio State should falter and faint, Wisconsin can take the game.

The Contender Best Game That No One Will Watch Award:

The University of Houston is finally going primetime. Yep, the 5-3 Coogs will be playing the 1-7 SMU Mustangs on Sunday night on ESPN. Of course, most of the sporting public will be watching Sunday Night Football on NBC.

Those people will miss a surging UH team that needs just this one win to gain bowl eligibility, with three games remaining after – 5-3 Tulsa, 1-7 Marshall, and 0-8 TSU. The Coogs need to win this game to get closer to clinching a spot in the Conference USA Title Game. The Coogs have two straight 300+-yard rushing games. But this is the classic trap game, and the Coogs are known for having problems in trap games. Especially since SMU just fired its coach, and has lost six straight games, including two games in overtime.

The Kid Nation This Could Be One of The Worst Games Ever Award:

In honor of kids playing as adults.

Texas Tech (6-3) will be visiting Baylor (3-6). The Red Raiders have lost two straight games after being ranked. Their vaunted offense has been shut down the past two weeks. QB Graham Harrell was 42x62 last week for 431 yards and 3 TD, but he threw 4 interceptions. And receiver Michael Crabtree set the NCAA record last week for receptions by a freshman with 100. Baylor isn’t exactly finishing the season out strong. They’ve lost six straight games after winning their first three, and head coach Guy Morris’s future is in doubt.

The Bachelor(ette) This Game Will Suck Award:

Nebraska (4-5) is playing (8) Kansas (8-0). Kansas is 8-0 for only the fourth time in school history, and they’re looking to go 9-0 for the first time since 1908. Nebraska is 0-6 against Top 10 teams during Bill Callahan’s tenure, and the team appears to be falling apart.

The Phenomenon This Is Really A Game Award:

In honor of doing a reality show about magic, but without inviting Penn & Teller to expose the frauds.

Troy (6-2) is playing (10) Georgia (6-2). Troy is the number one team in the Sunbelt Conference, but is only 1-7 all-time against teams from the SEC. Georgia is 27-2 versus non-conference teams for the past 7 seasons. Is this really the best Georgia could do for this late in the season?

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The Temptation Island So Bad That You’ve Just Got To Watch It Game:

Navy (4-4) is battling Notre Dame (1-7). Notre Dame has a 43-game winning streak over Navy, but the Domers have lost four straight home games this season. A loss would mark the first time in 119 seasons that Notre Dame has lost five straight games at home. Yet Notre Dame is still a 3.5 point favorite. Navy, however, is averaging 35.8 points per game while Notre Dame is only averaging 10 points per game, and have scored just 34 points total in the last three games.

The Surreal Life Because It Is On Game of the Week Award:

UTEP (4-4) takes on Rice (1-7). New Mexico (6-2) is taking on TCU (4-4), and Reliant Stadium is actually hosting a real football game this weekend as Southern (6-2) is playing TSU (0-8). -- John Royal

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