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The Delicious Madness of Ted Cruz's GOP Senate Campaign Ads

All of Texas is feeling the excitement of the GOP primary for the U.S. Senate. It's really all that Texans are talking about, apart from everything and anything else.

Lt. Governor David Dewhurst, a bland and boring pol, is facing Ted Cruz, a Tea Partier who has been endorsed by Sarah Palin. (The Ted Nugent endorsement can't be far off!) (Or maybe it's already happened, for all we know of The Nuge's ravings.)

The issues seem to be a) David Dewhurst is a raving liberal somewhat to the left of Barney Frank, and b) Ted Cruz is a Chinese spy plotting the takedown of America.

The latter argument stems from work Cruz's law firm did, the details of which are borrrrring.

Livening up the race, though, are Cruz's ads and online videos, which have a charming degree of insanity. Like these five:

5. A Bit of Christmas Cheer This Yuletide-themed ad includes, as part of "The Ghost of Obama's Past," Obama at a podium pointing out to security, "It looks like we have somebody who may have fainted" (POINT: CRUZ!!!). But the most important message comes in the sign-off: "Will you join me at tedcruz.org? Thank you, and remember it's still okay to say 'Merry Christmas.'" Despite what Obama has spent the first term trying to do.

4. The Parade of White People More than 20 people proudly declare in short bursts why they are for Ted Cruz. It's a rainbow of colors....due to different degrees of suntans.

3. Chinese What Now? A radio ad contains this epic line: "It's a classic Dewhurst distraction -- distort Cruz's record and hope we'll care more about Chinese mining tires than we do about Dewhurst's tax-and-spend record!!!"

We like to think of the many, many people who don't care about the GOP senate primary who hear this and picture workmen shouting Mandarin, toiling away with pick and shovel searching desperately for the legendary and elusive mother lode of Firestone radials.

2. Blowing the Budget on Special Effects

The name of this ad is "Any Way the Wind Blows," which had us hoping for a bit of "Bohemian Rhapsody," but apparently they spent so much on the special effects here (about $2.58) that they couldn't afford to license the Queen song.

1. Speechless Yeah, ummm.....oooookay. Includes the world's most dramatic writing of an equation since Einstein.


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