The Dynamo Stadium, One Step Closer To Reality, Due To Elephant Sex

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Dynamo president Oliver Luck talked to media all morning about a new soccer stadium, what it will mean to the city and county and Dynamo fans, fun stuff like that. But when we spoke with him, he just wanted to talk about elephant sex.

"What's the elephant gestation period, 18 months or something like that, I don't know," Luck told us. "But, when you get the city and county together, some people say it's like two elephants mating."

So the city and county, like two elephants fucking, have come together to build a stadium with the Dynamo. We're not sure where the Harris County Sports Authority fits in that scenario -- maybe the fluffer, maybe just a third elephant -- but it was the body in action today. 

The Sports Authority board voted unanimously in favor of hooking up with the city and county as part of an "interlocal agreement" to build a new 20,000 seat, $80 million stadium across the freeway from Minute Maid Park. The details of the plan were released Tuesday.

The only mention of concern about the deal came from Tom Sprague, the county's appointee to the Sports Authority board, but after he talked about his reservations, he went on to basically call the new stadium a dynamite deal.

"Judge [Ed] Emmett is the one that put my name up, and he just had reservations that we were making money off this," Sprague told Hair Balls. "Well, the Sports Authority doesn't make money."

Of course, somebody will. The Sports Authority, according to the interlocal agreement, will handle lease negotiations with the Dynamo, "oversee" the construction, then serve as property manager when the stadium is complete. Those sound like some nice contracts.

But maybe all the lawyer fees and engineering contracts the Sports Authority will handle will be peanuts compared to cash that the other elephants pull in on the deal. And hey, Houston gets a soccer stadium.

The City Council still has to vote on the plan before any negotiations can start, and the council is scheduled to do so on March 31. Then the Commissioners Court will take a vote at an April 13 meeting.

The county commissioners, Sprague said, seem to like the stadium deal.

On a side note, at Tuesday's committee meeting, after council members were done singing praises about the stadium deal, they considered another small agenda item about annexing 37 acres near Aldine Westfield and Farrell Road, extending Houston's corporate limits.

A representative from the Houston Fire Department said there might be concern about department response time, if there were a fire at the warehouse located on the property. A fire station in the area, she told the committee, would help.

Unfortunately, Council member Sue Lovell told her, there is no money for new fire stations.

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