The Five Stages of Cinco de Mayo Drunkenness: A Chart

Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Today is Cinco de Mayo, which means a lot of people who normally don't drink margaritas or tequila will be partaking of those things.

And there's usually hell to pay.

Especially if you're a white dude or dudess with a group of friends around a bar table. Having membership in a sorority or frat in your past (or present) is also a dangerous indicator of things to come.

What happens through the night can be plotted graphically and with exacting precision, and we have engaged the finest scientific minds to do just that for us.

So check out our chart on The Five Stages of Cinco de Mayo Drunkenness.

And don't say we didn't warn you.

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.