The list of the top 100 baby names of 2010 is out and it is filled with many names you would expect. There are Biblical names like John and Luke and James. There are pop culture names like Bella and Zachary. There are even names that help you to rhyme your kids like Aiden and Jayden because we all know how annoyingly adorable that is.
There are other names that no one should use...ever. Unlike the list of crazy names found in the Atlanta Journal Constitution's database of Georgia baby names including ESPN, Doctor and Bacardi (we're not kidding), the names on this list are the 100 most popular in the entire U.S. These aren't names given by a couple of nuts who decided their son should go through life as Exxon. These are legitimately popular names, God help us.
We looked over the top 100 and pulled out the five weirdest for your enjoyment. We included whether the name was for a boy or a girl, which wasn't always obvious, and its ranking among other names of the same gender.
5. Ryder -- Boy #97 When we looked this one up, it simply said "horseman." It should have said "rider misspelled." All we could think about was the truck company of the same name. You don't want your son named after a semi, do you? Maybe you do.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to the mission of the Houston Press. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Houston’s stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
4. Addison -- Girl #9 It's pretty remarkable that a name with this many things wrong with it makes it to number nine on the list of girls' names, especially considering the meaning for this name is "son of Adam." Yes, son, so why would you name your daughter Addison? Even worse, it also happens to be the name of a disease. Nice going, mom!
3. Brooklyn -- Girl #30 and Hudson -- Boy #96 (tie) Look, we know you New Yorkers are proud of your city. We here in Texas are pretty proud too, but you don't hear us naming our kids Montrose or Rio Grande. We feel it's a pretty good rule of thumb that you shouldn't name your kids after neighborhoods or rivers, but what do we know?
2. Grayson -- Boy #66 We're going to set aside for the moment that these are the most popular American baby names (is "pip pip cheerio!" going to be on the top 100 hip phrases of 2011?) to say that if you name your son Grayson, he either has a long career ahead of him as a butler or a troubled but brilliant novelist with crippling self-doubt. Congratulations!
1. Nevaeh -- Girl #99 When we first saw this name, we though, "What the hell?" Turns out, it was the exact opposite of hell because, wait for it, Nevaeh is heaven spelled backward. We thought saying stuff backwards, particularly when it is hidden in popular songs, was satanic. Whatever the case, this name is pure evil.