With the release ofTwilight,
we're seeing a continuation of the metaphorical "defanging" of the vampire in modern culture. Vamps used to be terrifying creatures of the night, bent on evil and slaking their undead thirst. Now they're brooding fops who want to talk about their feelings. Here are five of the worst:
5. Maximillian -- Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)
One assumes Angela Bassett fired her agent shortly after she appeared in this (though Tyler Perry movies are hardly a step up). And nothing says "reinvention of the genre" like Eddie Murphy playing two wacky supporting roles in addition to the lead.
4. Count Alucard -- Son of Dracula (1943)
Sometimes the apple falls far, far from the tree. Lon Chaney Jr. was credible as a guy unfortunate enough to be bitten by a werewolf in The Wolf Man, but his hangdog looks and strapping frame made for a vampire more Budweiser than bordeaux:
3. Caleb Colton -- Near Dark (1987)
Few things are as enjoyable as waltzing into a redneck bar and stomping some redneck ass, but poor Caleb can't hang. One would think he'd at least want to learn that cool throat-slashing trick with the spur, however.
2. Edward Cullen -- Twilight (2008)
Bad enough he and his clan have sworn off human blood, but surely there are better things for an immortal being with superhuman abilities and none of the traditional vampiric Achilles heels to do than go to high school for 100 years.
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1. Louis de Pointe du Lac -- Interview with the Vampire (1994)
First he wants to be a vampire, than he doesn't want to be a vampire. Lestat may have been a prick, but at least he was having a good time. IwtV also marks the the last time in history anyone has sympathized with Tom Cruise.
-- Pete Vonder Haar